I can’t believe millihelen is over and Jane Marie is leaving (or worse, being pushed out). This is by far one of the best Jezebel’s sub-blog, I love, love Deep Cuts, the 24 hours Beauty Diaries, the mall makeovers stories, the talk about make-up and beauty routines, the tips and tricks...and of course the best part is…

I don’t like waking up to this first thing. Not ONE bit. If jezebel could please time their articles to my alarm so that when I wake up there’s an article about a cat saving a baby from a burning building or an otter cuddling a duck-that would be great. Thanks!

I wondered when this comment would pop up.

They were participating in a promotion that involved taking selfies put on by the stadium. It had just been announced right before this clip.

Well, you really can’t leave infants alone, toddlers are on a constant death march —once you have a more autonomous kid who can play alone it’s much much easier to go to the bathroom alone, but still, one bathroom and you’re going to have to pee during bathtime. To say nothing of how much time you spend with THEM in…

If you’re super ripped and crush pussy on the regular, you’re an Alpha.

Ughhhhhhh they bonded over The Secret? I hate them so much. I’m not even normally that judgy but that book is THE WORST and it’s garbage hippie prosperity gospel for garbage thinkers.

Ignore this; I wasn’t sure if the edit on my other comment went through. It apparently did. Have a pair of platypus instead:

Choking shouldn’t be the label for the crime. Let’s call it what it is. It’s attempted murder, plain and fucking simple.

I think there’s some real confusion going on in this article and, then not shockingly, in the comments below. In Tibetan Buddhism, any sex that’s not straight up generic sex meant for creating a new life is considered misconduct. That’s for everyone, and it’s rooted in many things, not the least of which is the idea…

I like to point out the recent massacres of Muslims committed by Buddhists in Burma as a way to blow “lol religion of peace” morons’ minds.

It’s almost like he’s just a person and not imbued with the spirit of a random god.

I always name my house spiders. If he doesn’t have a name, suggest Bob due to his apparent interest in the sponge.

My apologies in advance for the long backstory, but it is necessary to fully understand the horrible-ness of the situation. I live in a tiny apartment in New York with my wife and son, which, ever since our son has gotten the ability to walk and talk and whatnot already made sex a fairly covert affair (the window of…

A Story of Few Words: A Sexy Haiku

You know what’s a good time for breaking out the sacrilege? A funeral!

We went to my cousin’s baby’s baptism and she cried and wailed throughout the whole thing (my cousin had a wobbily smile the whole time) & the priest said “Calm down little demon.” It broke the tension and everybody cracked up. The baby was fine she was just teething.

My Jewish parents attended mass given at the Vatican by Pope John Paul II. I asked why, and my dad told me he was hungry and wanted the cracker.

I’ve been to three funerals in my life, but my great grandmother’s funeral when I was seventeen has to be the weirdest/most uncomfortable one of them all.

I have thoughts.