Just have them read Transmetropolitan and copy all the jokes relating to the Smiler. Pete basically is the Smiler in real life. 

Number 4 looks a lot like a simple Shewee or similar.

Don’t pin that on me, that was in the original (and fascinating) twitter thread.

Jason,

After watching Green Wing, I can’t see a milk float without hearing Mark Heap shouting “You haven’t even GOT a cock!”.

Also, all the#respect for Subaru’s marketing/PR team back in the 90's/00's for running a wildly successful subversive ad campaign in full view, never getting called out, and arguably saving the brand.

I think you meant to say “less.”

Happy Halloween you beautiful weirdo!

CP - salvage title

And you know they neglected even the most basic maintenance. Who the hell loses Drew?

Yes. I speak from recent car shopping experience. I kept the Element and the Subaru Baja on my list of maybes on the off chance that I’d find one for sale by a private party that was priced reasonably but it never happened. Mr. ForeverGray and I are now the happy owners of two Subaru Foresters. Less cache but better…

Too many owners within a short time period, giant red flag.

He should buy a Deadspin. With the right kind of owner a Deadspin can take care of itself with no maintenance required!

Yep, solidarity for the deadspin folks!

Jezspin forever

Are you guys reposting articles because the previous ones filled up with comments about how Jim Spanfeller is a colossal pussy?

I intentionally don’t keep a pipe on hand and only roll joints. If I ever feel like I want to get high but don’t have the motivation or capacity to roll a joint, I probably shouldn’t be smoking weed.

I used to feel the same about Festivas until I learned they were designed by Mazda to be sold as JDM Fords, and helped get the KIA brand off the ground by having them construct them. I’m very interested in the non-existent world of Korean classic cars, and would love to have one in good condition now.

uh.... can you email me about this? kmckinney@deadspin.com 

I don’t have eyes in the back of my throat, champ.