This post is way too fucking long in service of a mediocre take.

I hate...HATE...that I had to give you my star.

Gallows humor power-up right here. Take my star.

You certainly represent me. I’m sorry too. And ashamed.

Jeez. Who burned Dorian Gray’s picture?!

Satan called. He wants you to “go easy on the piety.”

Great take here.

Wearing it...was...inevitable.

Wearing it...was...inevitable.

Props just for using the phrase “Old Knob” to describe this douche canoe.

Yep!

Maybe they can hook up with “The Last Jedi Sucks” club and pool their powers to change space and time.

This. There’s actual crisis-y stuff going on around the planet that people should rally against - but, no. They’re too busy having temper tantrums about a poorly-written last season of a TV show.

And its companion book: “Trauma - How, as a White Male, I’m Recovering from Being Constantly Profiled and Pulled Over by Law Enforcement.”

I don’t think they spent that five years together. I think after executing Thanos, Thor leaves to New Asgard - where, presumably, he drowns his sorrows in beer, junk food and video games. 

Yep. You get the car, you get the kick-ass stereo too.

GREAT take - insightful! That’s such a Cap way of thinking...nice job here.

Uh...programmers uh...find a way. 

Hell, you’re so much better than that I was hoping to see the inevitable “hit my knuckle with a wrench while working on the faucet” combined curse words like “DAMNFUCKMOTHERDICKFUCK!”