I’ve been commenting on Jezebel and Gawker through two user names (it KILLED me when I lost a starred account in an early Kinja changeover), two degrees, and four moves. It’s helped me procrastinate, meet people when I moved to new cities, given me an online community of hilarious strangers, and taught me about which…

Because you, like myself and most modern Americans, haven’t actually watched an episode of SNL in years and only learn of its continued existence through little clips and viral snippets like the one above?

Skin to skin contact is beneficial for infants because it promotes bonding. I promise that it will not give you a boner.

These poor babies, they are children and I just can’t imagine what they or their families are going through. I have no solution but it breaks my heart.

What kind of psychopath, would, without hesitation, happily slaughter teenage girls? It’s a rhetorical question, I know. Those dear, poor girls. Just devastating.

Knowing me and my fascination with death I’d be like my death party is full Victorian Wake Goth Party. And after I’m dead you all will be required to take post-mortem pictures with my body. First in tradtional Victorian style, then you can do Weekend At Bernies.

I took your gummies, Julianne. And I didn’t even eat them. They melted in my car and I threw them out.

They literally do not care.

My complaint is that in real life, Margaret Brown threatened to throw Quartermaster Hitchens overboard if he didn’t take the lifeboat back to look for survivors. In the movie, Camera had her cowed and saying “you’re scaring me.”

WTF, dude.

OK, brand matters there. We have a greyhound and she is useless as a crumb vacuum.

Lucky you!! Also I love your username!

commentary on a major candidate calling for the assassination of another candidate aside...