Dear Salty,

I’m trying my best!

Watches Ready or Not last night at home, then went out to see Knives Out in theaters today. It makes for a nice little “shitty rich people” double feature

It is an insult to indicate someone that no one likes. A loser or a scrub.

He is Florida man.

My preferred method to stop reliving embarrassing moments in my life is to constantly replace them with new embarrassing moments in my life to relive.

will be on HBO Max (including Joker) will be on HBO Max,

Read the recent Vanity Fair profile.

The article referred to the board game as “officially-licensed”...

I’ve always argued this point. Lean meats work just fine in chili if you go the extra mile with some other parts of the stew. Roast the veggies, mix up your own spice mix, if you use beer at all use something good, etc. The meat is really the only part of chili that leans it one way or the other in terms of is it…

If you’re talking widely available brands then definitely Claussen. 

So you’re saying I can have your pickle spear

Disclaimer: My brother sent me this. I did not make it myself 

I have a friend that keeps zip ties in his car.  When he finds people intentionally taking up two spots he will zip tie a cart to their door.  

I don’t understand what they do on phones besides making the phone even harder to put in your pocket and I understand them even less as a cup addon.  Like, can you not hold your cup for some reason?  Is it because you’re Juuling?  I bet it’s because you’re Juuling.

And then somehow ends up on the Patriots

Brock Osweiler played in seven(!) games for my favorite team last season, and yet somehow my brain managed to completely suppress that memory until I saw that header photo and it all came rushing back. I feel like Guy Pierce in Memento right now. But instead of a Brock Osweiler tattoo I just have a mole that looks…