Hello! Over the weekend some friends and I were debating what would be the worst jobs we would do for money. The people who muck out the NYC sewer system came up, but I proposed the person monitoring Melania Trump’s social media presence! So what’s it like? Are you in DC? I pity you, it has like two months out of the…

Some of my happiest childhood memories are of playing with rusted out auto parts in an empty field across from my BFFs house. Zero adult supervision, sharp rusty objects, and even, one time, a cache of old playboy magazines that we studied with Talmudic attention. Keep the marsh open.

You’re assuming he would know enough to do that. I don’t think I can give him that much credit. I had a dream once where he couldn’t figure out how to access his voicemail. It was the most realistic dream I’ve ever had.

Nope. Rice is Chinese and China is using global warming hoaxes to advance their sinister agenda.

Um excuse me, third most anticipated twins of 2017. I am personally expecting a boy and a a girl in October.

I’m with you. before I had a kid, I hated this sort of language, and now that I have a kid, I hate it even more. It’s so false and ridiculous.

i switched out my playlists and now i’m on 1990-2000s music which has been so rejuvenating its ridiculous. ruff ryders, busta rhymes, outkast, lucy pearl, lil kim i know i sound old saying this but we had it good then

I’m about to flag your ass for blatant disrespect. Do you know who this woman is?

I am not a fan of Catholicism, and I am not a fan of this pope. But I can at least recognize that, whatever disagreements I have, he is a man of principle who dedicates himself to something he believes is greater than himself. I suspect that he recognizes that Trump is a man whose only principle is glorification of…

Nas released one of the bar-none, greatest rap records of all time in 1994 with Illmatic. His output since then never really lived up, and now you mostly see him on Hennessey commercials, but for a while “Jay-Z or Nas?” was a conversation.

Why do people assume that jokes making fun of Trump and Putin are making fun of homosexuality? The joke isn’t that two men being in love is laughable, it’s that Trump and Putin are “in bed together”- that they are so closely and privately aligned, they might as well be intimate. If we had Kellyanne Conway instead of…

Not since Lorena Bobbit have we encountered a woman who so efficiently disposed of a Weiner.

Settle down and finish your pizza rolls.

Lauren Miller is prettier than Jessica Biel.

she’s somewhat self-effacing and rather comely, but even i can only listen to her bladder on for so long.

When I was in my 2o’s, I had a cute butt, perky tits and tiny waist. (But no silicone tits right under my chin.) Now I’m almost 67. After two pregnancies and a hard bout with breast cancer 18 year ago, I have a saggy ass, thick waist, poochy tummy and lopsided boobs. I still go to the gym to increase my muscle mass,…

Here’s a super basic primer!

I was a retail manager for a couple of years. I have three little nugz of advice that may seem like common sense, but my failure to grasp them made that job miserable for me: 1) Develop a system to effectively manage your time. MGRS are constantly being pulled in different directions as situations arise, but you…

It took me an embarrassingly long time to work that out. 😄

Congrats! I got a new job after being fired (without warning and with no explanation) and am loving my new job so far! Now that I’m not a nervous wreck all the time (old boss was a yeller) I can actually do non-work-related stuff again. I can have hobbies, yo!