If Tyler Perry made a movie like this, it would be about Pepsi being delicious and refreshing, and also how if you get divorced you go to hell

ending Moe Wagner’s NBA career before it even began.

Is this a joke? 6 teams won 28 of the 30 championships in the 80s, 90s, and 00s. What is David Stern gonna do, force Cousins to take a bigger contract?

What sucks is that this makes total sense for Boogie. He’ll hit a market flush with more cap space and another year removed from an Achilles injury, and after he wins a championship, the loser/cancer label will be gone. I can’t even cry foul here.

I've seen that grip a whole lot of times, but never outside of incognito mode.

“I think that you can’t win the White House without the Midwest and I don’t think you can go too far to the left and still win the Midwest,” Duckworth told Jake Tapper.

But enough about Phil Jackson’s dick ...

Man so a witness who vouched for Winston during the rape case apparently lied his ass off to protect Jameis in the face of a sexual assault investigation.  I mean obviously these two things are unrelated 

really underselling the “throwing chips? that’s a tasing” interaction

Dolan’s hobby isn’t actually that rare for white, well-to-do types. If white, suburban physicians and lawyers aren’t weekending as Harley-Davidson enthusiasts, they’re usually playing in shitty blues bands. (Source: lived in Connecticut for half my youth.)

No one sings the blues quite like the white son of a white New York billionaire. We can all relate to the struggle.

And Tony Dungy can still go fuck himself.

I remember when Michael Sam kissing a man was a distraction. 

Just wanted to type that, huh?

“And that was it. I swear on my mom and dad’s graves, there was nothing else to it.’’

I can’t help being so edgy. I’m the Ricky Gervais of comedy!

Woa, hey, cool it with the hot takes.

Man, I’ve needed more venture brother cartoons in my life even more than Hank needed to forget that he accidentally slept with the mother of his bastard half-brother, which is still as hilarious as it was stomach churning.  

“A disaster here in Russia for Germany!”