Enter, sand man.

Isn’t there already a buyout provision?

“Fuck you”- Bobby Bonilla

the red sox were tricked (?) into giving Pablo Sandoval a large contract when they should’ve known he would miss an entire season due to injury, it just isn’t fair!!!!

Big deal. Joe Jackson threw an entire World Series without any shoes!

It’s like when Wade Boggs was on the Yankees. You applaud the player, and hope the team burns down around them.

History is going to make Wayne Gretzky look pretty bad for the temerity of choosing to wear #99 before Aaron Judge was even born.

I’m pretty sure that A.I. has the bleakest ending of any movie, ever.

God, yeah, it is. It’s fucking brutal. As well as the scene where Harry thinks he’s going to die so he goes to sacrifice himself and he’s walking through the woods with the spirits of everyone he’s lost. I. LOSE. MY. SHIT. Everytime I read it.

I don’t know how dumb you can call these though? I feel like 90% of all people who are predisposed to cry at movies are going to cry at all of these.

I cry every time at the end of the episode “Jurassic Bark” from Futurama. I have seen that episode at least 25 times. God damn that song.

Boooo! You just don’t appreciate art!

Titanic, when the band plays the sad violin music and they show the lady reading stories to her kids, and the old people holding each other on the bed as water floods in. Gets me every goddamned time.

-too many people in this shit-stained country

My high school was located right next to a strip mall with a Little Caesar’s owned by a strict Greek guy and his son who kept to LC quality standards to the letter and was basically the school’s second cafeteria/single-handedly kept it open-campus at lunch (any school event was pretty much ‘other food’ and then three…

Let’s not forget he was so gluttonous that he became like 400 lbs and had to wear adult diapers and ride a rascal because there was literally no food, woman, bribe or drug he could say no to.

Ceaserland put every mcdonalds play pit to shame

This man speaks the truth. I remember that time too.

Was just typing out the first part of my response - “Yeah, if you lived in the fucking midwest” - when I noticed your name. Now your comment makes sense.

The rest of the comment, by the way, would have been “and it’s open at 2 a.m. for some reason and you are drunk, stoned or some sort of combination while being short…

Damn, I remember when Little Ceasers was halfway decent pizza...