Breaking news from Ohio: A new law will require that any woman who has an abortion must hold a full age appropriate birthday party for the fetus every year until said fetus is 18 years old. Furthermore, said woman must include fetus in all holiday card photos and will take to Disney world at least twice in said…

No, you are getting free college because you are GOOD at football. Quid-pro-quo conditions of performance would be called a “wage” in the parlance of our times, and of course we can’t have that.

I’ll bet Dolly would totally pull me out of the greys. (Seriously I have been politely posting here for FIVE YEARS. I predate Kinja. Did I make somebody mad?)

No need to hang out here if the content just makes you fussy! Have a lovely weekend.