I would have stuck my fingers in my vagina and painted fuck you with period blood on the wall, but I'm an animal.

Aaaaaaand, everything is horrible.

SOMEONE IS

Lohan puts the Quit in mosquito. (sorry, i'll show myself out now.)

I hope so, cause I once read a terrifying statistic about how common nun rape is - because they won't report it to the police, so they "perfect victims".

Someone needs to take a stand against Big Mosquito! They've been sucking us regular folk dry for YEARS!

I'm gonna guess she had a taste of the heavenly host, ifyouknowwhatImean.

SITZPINKLER. Germans have the best swears. My friend told me about a German word (I am not even going to attempt to remember or spell it because I will just embarrass myself.) It means "stand-blower" aka "You're so short, you could give someone a blow job while standing up."

Honestly, good for her. She's a working model. She works. And since that seems to be a real sticking point with the Jez commentariat re: her family, here you go: She has a job and one that you all can agree is an actual job.

I'm not proud to admit that my knee-jerk reaction to this headline was, "Welp, another one of the people-I-thought-were-at-least-kind-of-good-guys bites the dust." Last I had heard, Colicchio did good work for Share Our Strength and other food / hunger-related charities. Goes to show you that assholery comes in all…

Changing into work clothes is a work-related activity and it should happen on the employer's time. That's how it is for unionized workers like me (which is one of the many great arguments for unionizing the restaurant industry)

An eye doctor who chooses to not be certified, because regulations for people who perform life saving/life threatening surgery are stoooooopid.

Lorde suggested via twitter that he fix his sad penis first. :)

It's amazing that this person - without any connections and only a few dollars to her name, can make it in the big time. It gives me hope that someday my daughter will follow in her footsteps or you know, become a scientist and astronomer which she is what she currently wants to be. Whatever.

THIS BABY LOOKS LIKE IT KNOWS TOO MUCH.

WOW. An even bigger cunt.

Give it a rest, Wesley. We get it - Taylor is so inauthentic and fake, unlike Katy who is an artiste who expresses her authentic self through her whipped cream-shooting nipples.

The other lesson is that people who just don't quite cut it love to tear down those who do.

Jessica,