Like I give a fuck...

Fox didn't change the filter they use to make Boehner look human instead of like a rotting tangerine.

That guy's twitter feed is cute memes and vitriol about how the Democrats and Obama suck. So, it seems this wasn't an accident, it was a purposeful lie.

R.B.G. can do whatever the fuck she wants.

We can be stupid together, because I thought the same thing. And for that I am sorry.

I thought this headline meant that the original video was actually Funny or Die and I was v. confused. Also, I'm a little stupid.

you just ruined all of my feelings

Consistent until you realize their parent company also owns AXE.

some thoughts:

Eh. Having curly hair was the worst when I was younger, but I like it a ton now.

A quote from my beloved late grandmother after my grandfather died.

Boys are stressful, needy and fucking annoying. My life will not be worse off if I never get married. I kinda want to but then every time I really think about what marriage entails, I want to slap myself in the face and tell me to snap out of it. Same goes for wanting kids.

omg I'm going to live to 200!!!!

I still hold that he died suffocating in her muff, because it sounds period appropriate.

Should've sent a check that was $1 short, THAT would have been passive-aggressive gold.

I would've mailed them a check with variations of "LOL" written on every line, and a neat cursive "Yeah Right" as the signature.

You say this now, but by 2017, there will be an app for conveniently invoicing no show parents right from your mobile device.

I like the logic that leads people to encounter something rude and respond with BATSHIT HYPERDIMENSIONAL RUDENESS. "Oh, you think you're ill-mannered and ill-bred? WELL I'LL SHOW YOU ILL-MANNERS AND ILL-BREEDING!"

My husband TOTALLY payed them because he "didn't want to start trouble". I, on the other hand, LOVE starting trouble.

I can see my sister-in-law doing that. Once she and my brother-in-law bought the cake for my mother-in-law's birthday. The next day she e-mailed my husband with an invoice for our share of the cake. These people own several properties and are not hurting for money. People be crazy.