I've definitely never had one as an adult. I say I don't mind doing dishes, but I do procrastinate on it an awful lot. Maybe it's more accurate to say that I don't loathe doing dishes.

Fuck that. Life is awful, and the only thing that keeps me from a constant state of contemplating suicide is occupying my mind by doing stuff.

Hello...Is it crack you're looking for?

Before we jump to conclusions, let's first confirm that this is not a Back to the Future II situation where the guy was just trying to go back to his own house but mistakenly created an alternate timeline thanks to sports almanac shenanigans.

(The terrible implication being, of course, that we have been living in the…

USE YOUR FUCKING TURN SIGNAL. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.

WUT? No. Hell to the N-O! NO!

It's true—that small wave can really make or break a 'wow you're a dick' experience to 'you know what? You're alright!' And I think that's a really good thing.

While we're on this subject, I would like to take the time to remind every single person in the world to say "Thank you" when someone holds open a goddamn door for you! Oh, and use your fucking turn signal!

Personally I hate it when people jabber away on their cell phones when getting seated on airplanes, continuing until the plane is leaving the gate and a an annoyed flight attendant has to tell them directly to turn it off. We are in a small enclosed environment, literally a captive audience, trust me nobody wants to…

I've often wondered that myself. I usually try to head toward the line when my zone is called, but usually I let other people group before. The ones I don't get are the people that start lining up before boarding is even called. Why do you want on that plane so badly?!?

I've never understood why anyone would be in a hurry to get into their cramped little seat. I doesn't matter which zone I'm in, I wanna be the last sucker on that thing.

Maybe your friends have given up on trying to engage you in interesting conversations because they know you'll probably just spend the whole time on your phone anyway. Lose the entitlement complex, dude—interesting conversation is a two-way street.

When I stop to let your slow-moving ass walk in front of my car in the parking lot or on a city street, or let you merge into traffic or change lanes RIGHT in front of me, just give me The Little Wave, willya? That's all I ask - a little acknowledgement that a human kindness has just happened and that we're all in…

If the excuse for texting during meals is that your dinner partners are boring the crap out of you, the onus is not on them to entertain you, its on you to get more interesting friends.

I have a good friend who does this and it drives me insane. I mentioned it once in a joking way "Hey, phones away, I want to catch up with you!" and she totally didn't catch on that she was doing it. She replied with "Oh yeah, I'm just texting [friend]." Ya I know what you're doing I was trying to be nice about…

Whipping out your phone during face-to-face conversations with no preamble ("excuse me, I have to learn about clown porn real quick") is so fucking rude! I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it, but it's still rude. Another shitty thing to do is stay on the phone while you're, for example, paying for something…

I will admit that when I first moved to Chicago from New York, I was walking up the escalator on the left, and there was a girl standing there in my way. There was no one else on the escalator, but when I moved to go around her, my gym bag knocked into her huge purse and she sniffed "Jesus Christ, that was rude." so…

Word to your entire post. Nothing drives me crazier.

Doors:

I seriously can't stand when people text/facebook during conversations/meals like they're somehow awesome at multitasking while simultaneously being awesome at being in high demand. Be present in the fucking moment, people.