Okay I have to admit that whenever I talk about anybody's good health I knock on wood

Wouldn't the "afterlife" be just like before you were born? And you already know what that's like! Also, I'm totally laughing my ass off at "hell's real and everyone goes there"

I believe that BSG ended after the 3rd season.

Well- I mean, being open to the possibility of advanced intelligence elsewhere in the universe isn't insane at all, but it's the certainty without any proof that I take issue with. Saying anything is "real beyond a shadow of a doubt" with no evidence therein (love you SETI but keep on keepin' on) is pretty arrogant…

Burn the witch!!!

This sounds like it would make for a great Key & Peele sketch.

No child should have to suffer being named Payton.

What is a bottle of whiskey and to escape this damn time loop.

THE RUM TUM TUGGER YO

He wasn't circumcised!

GOD I love that movie. "I just think I'm gonna barf! Well, it passed."

Fuck yeah, Passions! TIMMY THE LIVING DOLL.

He totally looks like Grizzled Rob Lowe!

You're my favorite customer Ari Schwartz

This gif is making me snort/chortle. Snortle

Hey! Psycho! Get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up!

I just found out that GWAR is gonna be in town in two months - definitely getting tickets!

I may love abortions but at least I'm not A BORE, SON!