Ha! Good one! But I would have gone with “It’s how a geezer calls someone who nicks stuff... Unless the old geezer describes himself as someone who nicks stuff... ...If I understand your jest correctly...

Ok: Sometime ago, a saw a chair move. When I looked back, I saw my dead grand-mama! Boom!! Scary! Is that any better?

Straight here. Words. Queer is cool.