Oh, it’s coming. It’s going to happen.

I have a right to pay women less because it’s a sincerely held religious belief! California may be a heathen society that ignores god’s will, but I am not.

Yea, I'm a California native and finally getting some good news! Usually it's just murder and drought stuff here, this made my day.

That last one looks like it’s where they filmed the scene in The Godfather when Sonny beats the living shit out of Connie’s husband.

I saw that image and knew exactly what it was. My brother and I drove our parents crazy demanding to see Bugsy Malone again and again, and we listened to the soundtrack until the vinyl wore out.

Such a foundational part of my childhood!

I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched this movie. Bugsy Malone was one of my favorites. My brother and I still quote it all the time.

I was just talking about this with my son. I’m probably below average in terms of looks, I’ve struggled with my weight since I was ten. I’ve been called dog, pig, whale, fat ass since I was a child. I’ve been with better looking friends who had doors opened for them, then slammed in my face. I’ve been the “buddy” and…

I’ve been eventually dumped or rejected or made to feel like shit in some capacity by almost every dude I’ve ever fucked or wanted to fuck and yet somehow I’ve managed to never mass murder

My cousin posted this on Facebook today, linking to this article about how the poor menz are not getting good jobs and attracting “mates.”

Margaret Atwood was on point when she said,

I have a stupid customer, but not from my work! I’m waiting at Taco Hell after ordering cheap food of questionable quality. A woman comes up and complains the “calibration is off” on the soda. Weird way of saying that the syrup is low, but it’s not too far of a logical stretch. The cashier is about to acknowledge her…

I had to go scarf down a semi-stale Krispy Kreme donut that I swore I wouldn’t touch, just to drown that taste of sorrow in my mouth. Every single time I tell myself that Aramark is not Italian for “homestyle cooking” and yet every single time I forget. Fucking Mondays.

Fuck IPA fever. I am so sick of wasting ten minutes per table explaining our vanilla espresso IPA, our 36,000,000-minute IPA, our Antidisestablishmentarianism IPA. Go hump a barrel of hops and GTFO of my face.

RE: The Wedding Pity Party

You know what? I love the balls on Cara Sloane to tell a BCO story about her own fuck-up. Just about every one of these is told from the waiter’s point of view, so I am always curious as to how customers would tell one of these (and what the exact hell was goin on in their cerebellums)...

I’m a straight woman and I still enjoy seeing a nice pair of breasts.

Oh man, I was just telling this story on another website this week ironically enough.

Its not a bug, its a lizard.