When I was a stroppy snarky tween, my mother taught me the following.

It took a pretty embarrasing amount of time for me to realize that. Now, whenever I hear that -

Here is to hoping that he comes back in a white attire :(

I’ve been using it forever, literally forever. Most deodorants smell terrible, this is the only one I can stand (powder scent, NOT shower). Of course, I’m cheap so I’ve only tried cheaper brands. It works fine, but... reading this column, maybe I should experiment? It certainly doesn’t last more than one day, and on…

I’ve been using it forever, literally forever. Most deodorants smell terrible, this is the only one I can stand…

I feel ya, Hailey. Sort of. My brother was one of the popular kids in school (and is quite nice looking) and girls in my grade used to rave about how cute he was when they found out I was his sister. It was awkward. Also, my friend once told me that my dad was charming and quite handsome for an older guy. And I was…

The fact that I just mumbled “nigga please” to that photo in front of my white step-child indicates that I concur. He is the WOOOORSSST.

Agreed — the naked look is a definable look and so you would expect someone in fashion design to have an opinion on the aesthetic. It feels fairly organic coming from Herrera. And while I think men and women should be able to display themselves however they choose in the name of fashion, it’s much like what people…

Thank you!

My friend got married on 3/14/15 and served pies! It was absolute chaos in the kitchen but people enjoyed it.

I also made her a cake - but of course I baked an apple and cherry pie into the two layers of the top cake tier. You know, apple of my eye and poppin’ cherries... ;)

Gratuitous picture sharing commences.

My aunt Bonnie’s second wedding was a small affair in Lake Tahoe. Her cake was from a chain grocery store, which, since it was located Tahoe, did regular wedding cake business and had a pretty large bakery section. My aunt’s fiancé, Steve, picked up the cake the morning of the wedding and came back to the cabin we…

Voodoo Doughnuts, because fuck cake.

I fear a different kind of cake disaster.

My wedding itself was a disaster, thanks to mommy dearest. Since the big wedding plans got cancelled, we were going to elope with just our photographers - we ended up inviting a few family members. ANYWAY. We went to a cupcake store while we were taking our pictures before we got married/met up with everyone, and…

I fully intend on having a cheesecake bar instead of cake, top your own chocolate or traditional cheesecake with whatever your heart desires!

Pepperidge Farm cakes are AWESOME if you have just broken up with someone and want to eat your feelings from a box with a fork in front of your television.

I wanted a 3 tier square shape, small and simple. My ex husbands mother claimed to be the cake boss of the rural south and “could whip that up easy peasy.” She kept me up to date on cake progress and everything she was super stoked, and I bought the hype. Come the day of our wedding (April fools day actually) we get…

He LITERALLY said “but I have a black friend”

My guess is that he has another child on the way. He doesn’t give a fuck.

Yup. The lesson that was drilled into my head throughout middle school was: "fighting is OK, fighting back is not."