Probably had to ensure the stories weren't cut, otherwise they wouldn't be whole wheat.

"Waiter! Bread sticks! And there's a small fleck of cheese on this table. Have it cleaned. Chop chop!"

I could probably tell him host stories for days, but then I'd need to be in the summer gig witness protection program.

The other day I witnessed a mother grabbing her (13 year old?) son by the front of his shirt and saying "don't you EVER do that again" for being snotty to the cashier at a coffee shop.

I used to bartend with a guy who just did not give a fuck. A customer ran up a rather large tab buying drinks for all his buddies, got good service, and then proceeded to leave a quarter on the bar as tip. My coworker grabs the coin, loudly says "excuse me sir, you forgot something!", and then whips the quarter at the…

On a grill??? Ugh, the default smugness of assuming the person you're talking to is stupid...just...how do people raise such entitled assholes and not feel like failures as parents? What a twat. This is the kid who will get crappy delivery in college and his car egged as an adult and still think the problem is…

I can't call the place by name because I'm not 100% sure I don't need to work there again ... but Kayleigh Davis, as another refugee of Breadstix, Inc, you are my fucking hero.

Two points came to mind in this weeks column.

Jason Frakes and Mr. Hicks are f**king heroes. I salute you, gentlemen.

Rarely do I think someone should get the Lisbeth Salander "I AM A SADISTIC PIG, A PERVERT, AND A RAPIST" treatment, but this is one of those occasions.

theoretically, I don't believe in torture or the death penalty but reading this I just don't know what to think. Gang raping a 70 year old nun. What the fuck? Can we just tear these guys limb from limb?

One of my last semesters in college I had let my roommate talk me into renting an apartment at a really weird apartment complex in Austin called the Metropolis which was painted psychedelic colors and housed a lot of artistic and obviously drug friendly people. I was a middle class kid from a small town and a huge…

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

oh HELL yeah on the southern ladies thing. My mama is a genuine Savannah belle, and she can throw it! Matter of fact, I always say she can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you'll thank her and then ask her for directions.

Joe Mande on Chloe/JLaw made me laugh

I thought Sweden was a much better country than America (1 year PAID maternity leave, and dad's can take a paid year off too!) but no, it's just as fucked as it is here.

I have to say, the older I get, the younger everyone else looks. I think 24 year olds are 17. I think 17 year olds are 12.

If you are picking up women at a playground, probably best to ask their age.

I read a book about marketing to children, and in it they referenced studies about how kids find Cinderella to be the most "aspirational", and she is specifically marketed now only in princess form. You never see good hearted, put upon Cinder Cat, only flashy, corseted, Cinderella.