WELL played

Healthy weight loss is far too slow for a tv show.

I believe all of this. I knew there was now way you could healthily lose 50-100 lbs in a few months.

I don't mean to play online shopping tragedy olympics or anything, but I ordered these boots OVER a week ago:

I wish I had the authority to make this the Jezebel comment of the day or something. This is such valuable advice and absolutely true.

That covers the first 10 guests at the wedding. What did everyone else have?

a true classic never goes out of style

I'm pretty sure that a beat down was in order. Maybe it's because I'm black and our hair is an issue dejour, but I would have beat the shit out of her. And my (fictitious) husband probably would have understood and been okay with said beatdown of his sister. I don't get why anyone would think that it's okay to cut…

I know one thing, if my husband acted like someone physically harming me was no big deal, he wouldn't be my husband much longer.

That's assault and I would call the police for sure.

People who are "honest" and "tell it like it is" are really just assholes.

I once saw someone eating a belgian waffle on the subway, complete with plate, knife, fork, strawberries and whipped cream.

"Come for the titties, stay for the Story" as the new HBO and/or Showtime motto?

It's been remarked on in interviews with show creators that HBO makes a definite push for having a lot of sex in a show, whether or not it makes sense. Neil Marshall, talking about Game of Thrones in a podcast: "This particular exec took me to one side and said, "Look, I represent the pervert side of the audience,…

POSTED BY MY MOM ON FACEBOOK LAST NIGHT:

Well, my now husband and were having pizza one afternoon. After we were done eating, one thing lead to another and I starting giving him a good ol BJ. I was horny, so was he, so I got on top and started riding away, enjoying ourselves. Then I felt a slight burning sensation. I was like, oh whatever, it'll go away.…

i have done a billion fucking dumb shit things but i just wanna start with the fact that i have cut myself pretty excellently with a plastic butter knife.

Well, that's one way to tailgate

This is absolutely disgusting.