People saying shit like that to your friend is right up there on the “Shut the Hell Up List” along with things like asking my sister (mother of two children through adoption) if she tried to get pregnant and asking people with depression if they’ve tried to look on the bright side.

The more I read about Australia denying people entrance to their country the more I want to live there. “Oh you’re an asshole?” *shuts door

Thanks to Facebook’s new habit of dragging up old memories from 4-7 years ago of pictures of me happy with my ex Fiancee I am pro “delete that shit.” Don't need it ruining my morning pre-coffee.

Don’t worry! I found the gin! http://www.thebathgincompany.co.uk/bath-gin/

I think that really did it - her defense was that both women knew it was a fantasy roleplay, but then she was scamming someone else using “Kye.”

He starts with “I appreciate that this is probably horrendously politically incorrect but” [sir, there should be no ‘but’ here] “that is a stunning picture” OH GOD HE CONTINUED.

“I don’t have one iota of sympathy for Akins’ plight. But I’m grateful he isn’t being accused of snatching an innocent woman off the street.”

Yes. This. Everything you said is true down to the mysterious penis cleaning.

I’ve never wanted to stunt what “art” is, but I think we just found the line.

Quoting Donald Trump. Yup that about sums it up for me.

Glad you said so, I don’t remember half of that night...

My first thought was ‘let’s send it to the guy on Craigslist requesting boob pics!’ But having seen the pic there's probably not enough focus on the boobs there...

Bring the cheesecakes, I’ll bring the Jack Daniels. You are partying exactly how I want to.

Those three words.

The female police officer assaulted her on the side of the road?!? What. The. Fuck.

This, too, was my thought. But my focus was the egg mcmuffin. Like was there a McDonalds nearby? Did he happen to notice breakfast would stop being served soon and talk about them nonstop until the cops too saw the desperation in needing to go to the drive through ASAP?! Tell me!

1000000 points for Gryffindor!

Since so many government officials have proudly stated they are not scientists, can we get celebrities to do the same so they stop making such stupid remarks? I’m perfectly content making fun of his beard alone - he doesn’t need to add anything.

We’ve got more than enough people causing problems in Florida - WE REACHED OUR QUOTA! NO MOAR!

Yes this! And also their cookies are so damn delicious. Everyone WINS!