Uhhhh, you're white? Right?

Oh, so you guys are on to that "Anderson Cooper is Gay" story?!? Sorry, that one it all out there; has been for a long time.

Don't stop! I'm about to.....!!!!! Awww shit.

I cannot top that... no way, no how. You Win!

Exactly. Still, I am in an upside mood, so here's the upside on his being "heavy".... Pubic Fat Pad. Yes, that big gross bit of droopy, patchily hairy fat gets in the way of his dick, thus making a (for the sake of example) 6" weenie only an Effective Working 3".... less penetrative ability, which isn't much upside…

Who would be left to purchase the tickets with a hope of keeping their winnings then in that fair state?

There is HUGE upside to this: he gets to notify some staid, upper class neighborhood that a sexual predator lives next door.

After the Revolution we shall call her Betty!

Yes, indeed, but the Kroeger would never have been able to use her as a host if not for her upbringing in Nappanee, Ontario. The vast majority of people who suffer from the "Nappanee Syndrome" live desperate, "aplausless" lives in rural seclusion, rarely leaving their single-wide trailers in Winter and only emerging…

Ohhh! the Next Big Thing! Finally, I am not too late.

If by "normal" you mean insanely lazy with low standards that can only be met in the crudest way possible, yes. If successful it would be lazy meets crazy; what could possibly go wrong?

That was a reaaaaally long article on Cosmo... it took forever to scroll through.

If those 4 cigs a month prevent you from killing yourself or someone else, or otherwise having to submit or dish out abuse then it is not bad at all. Smoke up!

Correct, but the perfect job would be Drug Dealer, Thief, B&E Artist, Con Man (person?)... basically all the jobs that cops are supposed to be about.

"The itching and burning will go away he says... hmmm"

India? Rape? NO!

The words you want to Google are: Kendra Wilkinson

...Hef went on to say, "I insists that the women I have sex with be heavily drugged, but they must be at least semi-conscious... you know, for informed consent..."

I have a very small penis, I am surprised any of them noticed, no less complained.

"Think of England! Yes, yes, that's it! I can do this, I can have sex with this man?!"