Hire a big off-duty cop to stand in a suit at the door of the church/venue; give him a picture of the person(s) to be excluded; and forget about it. We did this to keep my sister's abusive ex away from her funeral (killed by a drunk driver, not her ex).

My experience with some narcissists (specifically with weddings) is that they WILL show up, even more certainly if they're informed indirectly that they're not wanted there. The reason is probably because:

You don't have the right to tell abuse survivors how they should act or feel towards their abusers.

Clearly you weren't raised by narcissistic assholes who turned everything into a toxic hell hole. I was. She ruined anything good in my life and caused me massive PTSD that still haunts me today.

Personally, I am most proud—in my adulthood—of not only complete disagreeing with individuals such as yourself, but doing so out of a deliberate spite for the "false politeness is a virtue" standard.

It is garbage.

If you dislike me, I do not want your smiles. I do not want your pretend tolerance. You are not the…

I am glad you were not raised by narcissists because otherwise you would have completely understood where she was coming from.

My aunt and uncle - who I have thankfully cut out of my life about 3 years ago, when I was 27 - CONSTANTLY brought up the fact that, when I was in 3rd grade, they gave me their old checks to play with. Said checks were useless, as they had closed the account and thought the absolute best thing to do with them was to…

You're worried about appearances because he finally told off his piece of shit parents? I cordially invite you suck it.

And that's the real fear, not looking good.

As someone with narcissist parents who were also not invited to my wedding, thank you for so clearly explaining that. It's hard for people to understand the smothering feeling and complete lack of autonomy that comes with narcissistic parents

Eh, we don't know how nasty or persistent the parents have been. I think we put a little too much value in always handling awful people's feelings with kid gloves. At some point, if you* didn't take the graceful exit given to you by "actually, I don't want to talk about this", then you have to deal with the anger and…

It's horrible that I found this amusing as hell and also pictures it as bingo played with pills.

I only very recently realized my older brother is a narcissist and it was as cathartic as it was depressing. I won't ever cut him off, but I sure as shit don't need to help supply him anymore!

I have no doubt this invite was cheaper than therapy. I agree with you in a way, for nice normal little happy families who have their little spat, this would be ugly and loud. For someone who was abused for years, this may have been the best way to express their feelings and well deserved to the people who received…

It's hard to maintain maturity when the people who abused you as a child are involved. Everything they have contact with turns you back into the immature helpless person you were when the abuse was happening. Being objective is borderline impossible.

I'm going to say that the catharsis may be worth it after years of abuse.

I have relatives who are like her parents and they're still savoring what an awful person I am based on things I did as a small child. You can't win, you can just cut them off in the way that's truest for you. This was awesome.

Perhaps they'll even blame their relationship problems on her.

I enjoy the comment about the community of models being more inclusive and supportive of each other. This is how we act when we are healthy, not starving! I remember a Lane Bryant training video when they had just started making their fashion shows special. The models were so thrilled. A lot of them were former…