Dear Jezebelles, today was the best day of my life.

IT’S TIMEEEEE

I’m here ‘cause I’m petty as all hell, too and I have no problem admitting it.

This is how I feel about all the helpful white commenters on The Root.

Take Selena out your mouth! There’s only one Selena and she’s the Queen of Tejano! ;)

Can this be an audiobook or a mini podcast, and have Morgan Freeman read the entries? I’m only going to leave several more comments and then I await response

30 minutes, tops. (w/o phone)

That ad is giving me San Junipero vibes, and now I want an episode of Black Mirror written by/starring Issa.

Can we start a campaign to make HBO extend Insecure to 10 episodes a season?? 8 is way too short!

She reminds of Martin Shkreli crossed with Cersei Lannister and Paris Hilton.m.

Hold up. That woman is not my FLOTUS.

They’re called Stacey Dashes.

She quickly cut back that I shouldn’t respond to hate w/ hate

Famous Rebas: Amy Schumer. Lena Dunham. Jezebel readers.

Kim is not brown. She’s white. Her current complexion is a result of tanming, bronzer, and makep 3 shades darker than her skin.

I would enjoy that. Have Kanye dressed as Al, scowling beside her on the couch. It would be perfect.

Yeah, what is up with that shit? The whole Jackie thing is bad enough without her Rachel Dolezaling on top of it.

Plus Kim looks like she’s wearing blackface again. Her skin is the same color as her daughter’s in these photos.

Hard pass.

That chorus is...not what I was expecting.