Dominic, you’re only getting one emoji from me from this point forward.

No one else is as fired up for the introduction of the Salted Caramel McRib as you are, fella.

Just like Portland (both of them), the sticks outside Seattle are inhabited by the type of “libertarian”, irreligious assholes who are two hits of meth away from the second coming of Ruby Ridge.

Your new backup is failed Miami quarterbacking project Ryan Tannehill, who will absolutely start five games this season when the guy above him gets hit by a dude riding a contraband Bird scooter down the sidewalk.

Don’t look Marion, keep your eyes shut!

And reality is having none of that shit.

Annual contributions:

This is the same man who developed Hudson Yards, a business complex(??) in Manhattan that’s basically just a safe space for people who wear All Birds and think the key to winning in life is following Gary Vaynerchuk on Instagram.

ALSO TRANSITIONING.

As always, never trust a man wearing transition lenses.

Damn you.

You are very welcome!

Mark Davis telling the Oakland fanbase he wants to win a title for us before moving to Vegas is basically like telling your wife you’ll get her that diamond necklace she’s always wanted before you divorce her for a stripper.

Man, and that cat still had to drive home after that.

I do not care about the Giants finishing .500. I care about them doing trades!

Annual occurrence in Yellowstone. I worked for a nearby newspaper, and we frequently had before-and-after photos. The after photo was always some idiot in a hospital bed.

RIP.

All I want is to be able to legitimately look down on the Bills again.