“That Keyhole Will Get Dirty” is the title of my Doctoral Thesis.

“Tank-Hole” was the name of my Ska band in college.

Let’s have a little perspective here, Kidelo, white people only scream for 911 if Black people try to have picnics, or Brandon Marshall tries to go into his own house. You know, REAL emergencies.

I’m not an expert, but I think that woman is an asshole.

I had a British-spec Festiva (87? 91? meh) in England. It had a barrel key, which made the locks (apparently) very difficult to break into. I know this because one morning, I cameout to the driveway to find the lock had been badly mangled and the door bent with a pry-bar, but that door HELD!

To me, the big Carrie Fisher question is this:

Son of a BITCH! I just figured out how to “bring it” last week!

Just to say...My star was #69.

I think it’s a big wyn.

In honor of the late Deadspin:

*twiggew*

Accurate. Where the fuck was State Farm when THAT relationship crashed?

Oh, sorry about that. I’ll turn my mic down.

How many QBs have the Bears ruined?

I had the game on while doing something else, so for a while, all I got was the audio. For about 2/3 of the game, I could have sworn I was listening to John Madden.

My star was 69.

Underrated COTD.

Excellent story. I mean, your coverage of the issue was okay and the quotes were fine, but your phenomenal double use of the criminally-underutilized term, “jackwagon” simply shows your genius-level command of the language.

Not cool, bro. Not cool.

Dude, what happened was, the tentacles came, but it was YOU that got dragged down, and the Redskins were waiting when you got there.