A couple of tips/factoids:

I would take it if they found a different professor.

This is your friendly neighborhood physician reminding you that if you’re gonna partake of recreational drugs (and I highly recommend you do!), try to stick with the ones that don’t give myocardial infarctions to people in their 20’s.

Real shit. I know that by even leaving this comment I’m contributing to the K madness. Because you record a click as a marketing metric that tells Jez powers that be, that these stories drive traffic. And maybe they do. But in the past three weeks, I swear to goodness EVERY GOTDAMN DAY y’all have a story on these…

This is what it was like before the containment spells were enacted. Many District Managers gave their lives…nay, their very souls, to cleanse the airwaves of this puppet-mockery of humanity.

This is a compact disc and he is a very small man.

Whenever I see those dresses, all I can see is Naomi Harper.

Dude I totally wore that yellow polo white skirt combo. I paired it with ankle socks and sandals. I totally rocked that shit. I thought. Then my older cousin came along and said she absolutely would not go into the Red Lobster with me wearing socks with sandals. It was a tough lesson to learn but necessary.

These really had a short life! We only had one kid in my grade school rich enough to own one, but we got to watch "education related" programs on these in school. I recently had to buy 3 bulk bins of assorted records for a job and a lot of us older people got a kick out of finding laser discs mixed in; the young…

33 MCAT. Moderate B+ average as opposed to the preferred high B+, we’re not talking about getting in with a 2.0 or anything. Qualified, in other words. Meaning that even if he was telling the truth (and he’s not) he didn’t prove a thing.

I’m sorry for your shitty day - hang in there! If it’s any consolation I’m of the same opinion on the Kardashians whether my day’s been good or bad. We could really use a break. Like, a permanent one.

I think it’s only wrong if you keep him in a pit and threaten him with the hose for noncompliance.

Behold, at the 0:50 mark, a poem by the Pimp of the Year.

I'll just leave this here.

Thank goodness for the small acts of resistance of front-line employees. Poor guys.

"Grandpa," the young boy asked, his vision caught by one of the faded magazine covers in the abandoned supermarket , "Who were the Kardashians?"

The Charleston firefighters did a whole goddamn calendar of them posing with puppies!!!