First time I read Brobdingnagian (and had to look it up) was a reprint of a 60's Avengers comic. Hercules was fighting Typhon the titan, and called him a Brobdingnagian asshole.
(I might be misremembering the "asshole" part.)

Alasdair is just sucking up to us to get more favorable comments.
No way in hell we are decent.

Ackbar 2: It's Another Trap
Ackbar 3: Trap Harder With a Vengeance

The RLM reviews point out that movies aimed at kids don't normally center on boring trade agreements and senate political squabbling. Or have a PG-13 third act where dozens of children are slaughtered.

GND2: Evil Not Dead

GND2: Not Dead Into Darkness

"Ollie, you don't treat me like an equal. You don't respect me."
"So what is the problem that's bothering you, Laurel?"

The actual answer is that "no phasers at warp speed" didn't exist until TNG started up. (In the Original Series, I remember Kirk giving an order to pivot the Enterprise at Warp 2, which sounds exciting but is nonsense.)

Part of the goofy fun was that the contestants competed to stay involved with the story, to continue enjoying the high-production live role-playing, rather than enduring the show for some pot of gold at the end.

I'll still disagree with this.

You just forced me to rewatch that scene.
Actually, It was a frog, although it hopped out of a bowl of water and flowers.

These were likable people, not really different than most offices, that we find out are doing monstrous things with a (mostly clean) conscience. That was part of the horror, that they felt good about the pain they were inflicting.

The whole point of showing all their cards (including the control room) at the beginning was to force them to tell a different type of story. If you like "surprise" movies more than "escalation" movies (like this one), that is fine. But don't say it doesn't work because they weren't successful in doing something that…

I don't see it as parody.

I disagree. There were a few scares thrown in, but for the most part, the scene cuts were made deliberately fast. If they wanted to make it scarier, they could have lingered on the deaths and blood and pain an extra half second or more, which is what most "scary" movies do.

The zombies were not controlled by them, so much as captured and redirected. Otherwise, the daughter zombie would not have walked out of that elevator and killed people in the facility. Would you consider Day of the Dead to be sci-fi and not horror?

I never had a doubt about the Old Gods (although I can understand why you did). We know the gods were real once the control room found out that Japan failed, and we see the desperation in the one remaining facility. Including the earthquakes as their time was running out.

Osmond zombies would have been too horrific for the movie censor boards, so it had to be Old World.

I think you have forgotten that this particular storytelling (which ends with a Final Girl, but who is allowed to live or die after the others are gone) was unique to this facility. There were at least 6 other complexes around the world (probably a lot more), and each focussed on a different manner of horror story.

(I agree if there is any film that is too precious and annoying about horror, it is Scream, not CitW.)