Sorry Samer, but I’m gonna be that nitpicky guy…

It was the Barves, I was using ‘Yanks’ as a perjoriative term for Americans, for effect.

I bet after ball #4, Sergio was thinking about screaming “Dilly Dilly” so security would come and escort him off the course.

It whispered in his ear: Dear God do I fucking loathe Lee Greenwood...

This is the biggest international incident in baseball since the Yanks hung our flag upside down, eh.

You sure the eagle didn’t land on James Pullman?

A good rule of thumb in Washington is that when your department or agency is plagued with leaks, it means you have a lot of subordinates who a) think you’re an idiot, b) don’t like what you’re doing, or c) both.

“Why should the public know how the government is planning to use taxpayer funds?”

“Hello, Office of the Inspector General? When someone leaks my proposed budget - which, if approved, would become a matter of public record - can I just behead them or do I have to use a firing squad?”

obsession with punishing leakers is only another attempt to crack down on preserving her image

Perhaps this explains why he never sued his accusers, as he has promised loudly and repeatedly. Also, actual attorney snuggling next to me says it’s not only unenforceable but very illegal. Any contract requiring illegal or criminal acts like perjury may even be thrown out altogether.

As a fictional moose I would go far as to say it nullifies the entire agreement?

There are no gyros in this story.

Typical republican. Pretends he’s all-American meat and potatoes in public and then does unspeakable things with Middle Eastern food in private.

I’m just a fictional insane Boston-area attorney but I’m gonna assume that an agreement requiring them to lie under oath isn’t legally enforceable.

Any person that was paying attention knew this shitbag was scummy as fuck well before any of the sexual harassment/assault lawsuits (to say nothing of spousal abuse) came out.

...that he actively sought to enjoin his victims to perjure themselves under oath as part of his settlement clauses only reveals that he’s not…

“So anyway I’d be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda’ kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I’d put it on your pussy but you’d have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business....”

Tiger Woods once fucked up his ankle while celebrating one-in-each-hole.

No joke. I can just imagine Trump seeing this interview during his “executive time” and immediately calling for Pruitt’s head. Fox News is pretty much running the country at this point. Whoever writes the chyrons for them is basically in charge of putting words directly into Trump’s mouth.

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.