Feb 18 2017

After 10 years, I finished paying off my student loans today! *High fives all around*

Feb 7 2016

IMO, one of the best parts was also the reimagination of Dirty Dancing during Weekend Update.

Jan 20 2016

That movie is everything. To anyone that disagrees, well, I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU AND YOUR ASS FACE.

Dec 1 2015

Sure, it’s easy to say that after the fact, but at the time, how was Van Dyke supposed to know that McDonald wasn’t a zombie, or a vampire, or some other immortal creature of the night that no single bullet could fell?

Jul 29 2015

Wow, definitely thought you meant that Ben Affleck was dating Fran Drescher, and my mind was blown for a minute.

Jun 19 2015

Before my grandpa became a refugee and immigrated to the US, he was a puppeteer in his home country. He’s second from the left. He was the most amazing, wonderful, funny man I have ever known and 17 years after his death I still miss him every single day.

Apr 20 2015

have you ever had a friend bring you a really good bagel or something and you call her an angel? and then another friend is like, “why must you constantly put friends on the highest of high pedestals? can’t they just be someone with a great deal of good bagels doing something good?” and you’re like, “whatever, she’s Read more

Mar 6 2015

Fun fact: I only respond to my in-laws via memes now, and the really annoying sister in law (the one who thought she saw Jesus in a melted chocolate bar and who thinks her family is haunted by a ghost who hates Catholics) only ever gets this Chrissy Teigen pic as a response.

Mar 5 2015

I just want to be clear that Common is welcome to walk into a women's restroom with me any day.

Jan 24 2015

I'm pretty terrible at cleaning, but I've learned now it make sure people know that up front' my current room mate and I have an arrangement where I do all the cooking and she does the cleaning which seems to work for us. (I clean my bathroom and tidy the kitchen and sweep up if I notice it needs to be done but I Read more

Dec 14 2014

I'm hoping I'm not the only one who feels this way. For as long as I can remember, I have been terrified by the idea of being dead. Not dying, but being dead. Missing out on humanity's future, and not getting to find out what happens hundreds or thousands or millions of years from now — how the story ends, so to Read more

Dec 13 2014

OMG, I just met Irma Thomas this week! I sang at a private party, and she was there. She got up and sang after me, and I was really glad I didn't have to follow her! Amazing woman, amazing voice. I hope I'm as cool as she is when I'm her age, but it's pretty doubtful.