He sucks if you are trying to win. If your goal is to be decent until December 1st then gloriously crash and burn then he is your man every once in a while when he doesn’t get hurt or started sucking earlier

I FUCKING HATE BEING A DOLPHINS FAN

50k people vs. 2 stars.

In 2000, the average age of a pro wrestling viewer was 28. Now it’s 54

*Looks at headline*

What about a ghost? How was this article not published as a ranking of supernatural creatures by propensity-to-bone?

A Draft night without Berman is as sweet as the first time having sex without a condom.

The article doesn’t make it clear, but looking it up it would appear this is in fact a union specifically for graduate assistants, being voted on solely by graduate assistants. They’re all paid employees - in many cases extremely poorly-paid to do a great deal of work.

The cartoonishness of this shit is hard to stomach. These admin fuckwits know that their intended audience is a bunch of ivy league phD students, right? “Dear Admins, I hear unions are good for a small number of people, but bad for academia! I’m not sure if they’re right for Cornell. Can you help us make this…

“where will the money come from to pay for the added benefits?”

Google tells me Cornell’s endowment currently stands at 6.1 billion dollars, with a 10-year annualized return of 7.2%.

So the answer to your question is, by cutting the omelet bar. 

Dear, Dean

I think you’re wrong there. It would be fine if that was their intent to make you feel helpless. It would be fine to make it earned when you get your friends back. There are a couple problems with that screws that up though.

Someone read a piece from a Wagner opera.

Then you are not as liberal as they come. You’re not that liberal at all, actually.

Or the weight of the Life Alert pendant threw off his balance, causing him to step awkwardly and tear his ACL, MCL, Achilles, hamstring, glute and rotator cuff.

“What’s attendance mean?”

Well, Bob, I wouldn’t say he’s MISSING the Knicks game.

Who is the audience for these clowns? I’ve never understood the appeal. My only regret is that Bayless isn’t taking Screamin’ A with him. They are both like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Remember when First Take had segments other than the Skip and Steven A show? There was this one god awful segment called couch potato where a fat guy elbow deep in a bag of chips gave recommendations on the best sports watches in the coming days. It was utter dreck.