I read this last night and I'm still dying.

Yah, like you know you could definitely push out a baby some day.

As in, you've pushed so hard during your period poop that you push out your tampon as if you are pushing out a little baby? Asking for a friend.

I was in NYC and my friend's boyfriend took us to some bar (I don't remember what it was called but they had a drink called Ass Juice with the slogan "straight from our ass into your glass" with a corresponding chalk drawing of a guy shitting juice into a shot glass) that played black and white Japanese S&M porn on…

I think they saw it in one context only and couldn't figure out what it means but knew it was somehow related to eyebrows.

Your Baby is Just Not That Into You

This has got to be the most embarrassing thing an adult human being can do.

You are more than welcome to steal mine :) Maybe "my mother's egg was penetrated by a brown man's seed"?

You were replying to me and I appreciated it, I starred it, and internet high-fived you :)

You always have the perfect and best gifs paultoes. What is your secret?

Same. I get the "you are SO tan what is your secret?" "Being birthed from a brown lady" is usually my response.

haha, if I wasn't "working" right now, I would find a picture of said adorable puppy and post it here!

So much amaze. Such wow.

I had the same experience with mussels. Throwing up and sick for a full week! I can't touch hot seafood anymore. What I mean to say is, I feel ya.

I wonder if this idiot actually wanted the cake, or if some idiot group this idiot belongs to with an idiot attorney put him up to this so they could specifically put this idiot issue before a court. Idiots.

I watched this segment while giving Huckabee the double bird. I picked up my pup's paw and had her give him the bird too.

I'd love to hear him describe his cognizable injury.

sending internet hugs your way. do something nice for yourself this weekend!

haha, what's worse is that his hair wasn't blue because he was alternative! It's because his giant head of hair was turning gray and he thought that looking like a troll doll from the forehead up was a better look.

I was just glad that I didn't wake up with a gem in my belly button.