Sometimes I wish I was a well paid celebrity specifically so I could do things like this. Reality however says I am just an ordinary pleb with more debt than cash. Good on Cher.

To anyone who says “why should middle school kids be taught about condoms?”, I really want to say “why should middle school kids be taught about balancing checkbooks or taxes or voting or traffic safety or any other of the myriad things we don’t really expect them to use until they are older?”

“Hmmm...better check that one girl’s papers. A little too ‘caramel walnut’ if you catch my drift...”

It’s more that I am so confused by an anti-pointing etiquette rule.

Dose wittle cheeks! Wittle cheeks! And that curly hair! Rich baby or not, he is adorable.

Amen, sister. Almost 32 and still baby-free, thanks to my fear of penises as a teenager, and a free supply of slut pills as an adult. THANKS OBAMA.

I hear the best way to win a legal custody battle is to bitch about it on twitter...

Did not a single sorority sister have a gun of their own on them? So tragic and so easily prevented with just another gun.

Florida.

The one time I did “paint and sip”, the room next to us was a bachelorette party. They had cupcakes, wine, gaudy penis necklaces, tiaras, and the bride-to-be wore a sash.

I’ve started rewatching from the beginning and besides the fact that it’s OBVIOUSLY staged half the time...they are a family and seem to love each other. Especially the episodes about their dad....like....come on people, that’s a real thing that happened to these young people and it’s absurd to think their grief and…

Where do I preorder a white noise machine that loops Bernie saying “Kardashians” instead of ocean noises?

I burst into anger tears.... not the snot filled sad tear but the raging anger tears today and I don’t know her or her son but I have a 12 year old black boy and all I can do is look at him and know that she looked at her son the exact same way. I can’t even allow myself to think about losing my child and she actually…

The same NRA that back in the 60s helped craft gun control laws because Black Panthers started arming themselves and buying guns en masse? The NRA only gives a shit if white people are being deprived of their gun rights.

Grand Juries are bullshit.

No that is what Netflix and chill mean. 100%.

Please. Not all 500 kids are going to be in this situation. Schools manage to contact parents when their child misbehaves.

So, here’s a crazy idea: when a kid reaches a certain amount of lunch debt, a social worker or school administrator reaches out to the kid’s family to try to find out why: is the kid going to school with lunch money every day and getting it taken on the way to school? Are they just spending it on chips in the morning?…

My sister: I’m thinking of getting Elf on the Shelf for the kids, what do you think?