and gluten, dairy and sugar free for no real reason

Eh. Assholes be assholes. In Austin we’re dealing with the deluge of people moving into “the live music capital of the world’s” downtown area and complaining so hard about said live music the city enacts noice ordinances that within a year cause some of the most cherished venues in the city to either relocate or close.

You could say the driver was blindsided

Listening to older white co-workers STILL angrily talk about OJ. Just... stop being angry. He was acquitted.

That sound you hear is dozens of networks scrambling to set up a reality show.

Gun idolaters are always serious. Guns solve all problems presented by the human condition. The only question remains, what would Jesus shoot? .223 or 7.62?

Oh Florida.

Youre blocking my driveway, so let me destroy the tires, so you cant move from blocking my drive way. Makes sense...

Ah yes. He’s mad that trucks are parked in front of his property. The logical action is to render them immobile.

This is why I never exercise.

If Venus entered the intersection legally, then it becomes.the responsibility those in the newly green side of the intersection to verify that the intersection is clear.

Adopting a pet you already know that your significant other is allergic to is one of the the most low-key passive-aggressive bullshit things I’ve ever heard.

Standard rule of thumb, the more weird and inappropriate places someone takes their pet to, the more staged Instagram pics they post, the shittier the owner.

holy shit! You can buy dogs that bite Lena Dunham? Sign me up.

I hate people that use pets as props.

“It’s just hard to believe the dog was nasty when she took Lamby to every green room with her when Girls was still a thing 4 years ago.”

He’ll serve a mandatory sentence of first-and-15.

Blind Side 2: Aggressive Uberoo

This made me laugh like a goddamn 10 year old.