Wait, don’t people with HIV and AIDS have compromised immune systems?

One thing we know for sure - if Amelia Earhart were alive today.... she’d be very low on gas.

“I want a Miles Morales Spiderman movie.”

A horse will get you home safely, even if you are as drunk as a shoemaker.

Wow. Call me “old-fashioned” - a la Golden Age of Science Fiction old-fashioned, but I have to “pay attention”, or keep my “hands on”, my car is not driving itself. I would 1000% prefer to simply do ALL my own driving.

“alcoholic dad”

then they hand over their laptop and leave the room while the respondent answers all the personal questions.... These answers will never be read by a human; the computer locks them away so the interviewer can’t see.

surely the admissions people at the college that accepted her can simply step up and say: “This is bullshit. Your scholarship is safe with us”

hey, you know what really helps you get a better night’s sleep? Putting your phone down for a few hours before bedtime.  

Monopoly thimbles $5000 each on eBay in 3, 2, 1...

you would think instead they would just have a guy coming up to you at your station and handing you a sandwich

“Shame on you.”

Just drop some acid. You will hear  not only the person talking to you, but be able to follow all the other conversations in the restaurant as well!

and Mallard Fillmore - surprisingly unfunny. 

If any of those people produced the exact same comedy

and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States

absolutely the best,

what if a DNA test shows the she is not Michael’s biological daughter? Is she still “allowed” to self-identify as black? Isn’t that getting into Rachel Dolezal territory?

Did the author of the story official and formally ‘disclose’ that the story was written as a journalistic “experiment” to piss off everybody? If so, I would like to see a link to it. If not, then it’s not really a “fake-ass” story, is it?  Let’s see some evidence that this petty  “divisiveness” is truly minor and not…

when the coach says to “have fun”, he means go out and win. Winning is fun. Losing is not fun. Anyone can be loose when they are creaming their opponent and they know it. So go out there and cream your opponent,  and you will be loose and you will have fun.