I remember this one time at the local Papa Murphy's (not delivery, I know, but stick with me), it was the Friday before Labor Day which is apparently a big business day. All but two poor employees had called in sick or were out of town. When we first called, they gave us a 45 minute wait time, and I sat in there for…

They work at a car dealership. I'm pretty sure lowlife shit-slab is a prerequisite.

1- thank you for the legal breakdown.

I'm so glad it goes on the tail and not in the butthole.

First question: Who else is surprised that these are made in Portland, land of artisanal mustaches and home-grown yak cheese? Also, why is this on Etsy's Australian site? Does listing them there instead of at North American Etsy make them more kitsch and vintage-inspired?

These are not big enough for my dogs butthole.

To have pets, you have to be kind of earthy. They lick their balls. They shit on the rug. If a butthole is a deal breaker, you've got bigger problems. Wait till he pukes in the middle of the night and then eats it.

Why is she smiling?!? There is nothing thumbs up about this!

So, let me get this straight.

This. When I had a job/could afford to go out to eat, an extra dollar or two made my tip go from fine to super generous. Which is a nice way to feel, especially when it only costs $1.

And if they did and had even of a smidgen of the good sense they should they wouldn't eat it. I can't even conceive of what would be done to that pie before delivery.

Yep. There aren't a whole lot of other jobs where you routinely pray your customer is wearing pants.

Someone, please try this with your cat and let us know how it goes. If you make it out alive, that is.

Totally!! delivery drivers should get hazard pay. I used deliver pizzas for extra money awhile back on the weekends, and on my last weekend working there I traded shifts. The guy that took my shift was robbed at gunpoint on the night shift. Physically he was alright, but mentally it really messed with him and he…

Office surveillance can only record video not audio and post a sign saying you have cameras. (Just translating your law jargon) Learned that stuff in college while studying criminal law. My part time job at the time .......Delivering pizzas.

I know nothing of this company, I just hate buying cars. I guess some people like going to buy cars, or look at cars, or whatever. But I only go do that when I actually need to buy a car. It isn't like hanging around the mall to see if you might want to buy something.

They have accomplished at least one thing here though: this is probably the strongest urge to kill that any Etsy listing has ever inspired in me.

I'd advise Rear Gear to print sportsball team logos, so we can all troll our rivals on social media until the cease and desist letters come from the various leagues who've been cut out of this obvious cash cow.

Is this kind of like the extra-super prudish Victorian impulse to hide table and piano legs with cloth covers? Because it's at least that hilariously stupid.

So want to cover my cat's butthole with the 1st place ribbon.