Bless the math folks. Seriously, how they put stuff in perspective is helpful. 

Double negative, they cancel each other out.

These studies are always less harrowing once the math folks helpfully remind us of this.

Just remember that a “21% increase” in the likelihood of an unlikely event such as early death makes it....still pretty damn unlikely. If you have a 0.1% chance of early death, and you drink 2 sodas per day, you now have a 0.121% chance of early death.

Thanks for calling my grandmother famous.

Everything can kill you.

Fact: Soda takes years off your life.

No, because then you’d just start going on and on about the dangers of excessive sodium intake... :P

well IF there is a causal relationship, then I am TOTALLY fucked because I am 42 and have been drinking diet coke since middle school at least. Possibly elementary school.  I love it so much.  Flavored seltzer can go straight to hell

This study is sort of up there with “Diet Pop Causes Obesity.”

I think the bigger questions are, “What does the sample size look like? What does drinking diet soda indicate about the person?”

I had to lift my right hand with my left to click the send button. For some reason I can’t move that side of my body all of a sudden. I’ve only had 4 cans today too.

I always wonder about these studies in that I suspect there correlation might not be causation.

We’re basically one step away from “Death Cola.” It’ll be marketed on the fact it kills you and will sell by the truckload.

Yes, well, life is finite and I’m gonna keep doing what I’m doing.