U.S. Soccer, which most Americans seem to only get really focused on around the biggest tournaments, hence why the MLS continues to be a paltry distant cousin of the powerful European leagues, and even Central and South American leagues, is stuck at a crossroads at the moment that it is having a difficult - albeit not…

This isn’t the early 90's anymore. We find secrets on our own without paying for a Nintendo Power subscription or calling a hotline.

The fact that people get paid for this kind of analysis is Maddening.

Eccentric huh? That’s a strange way to spell dumb.

There is a town called North Pole in Alaska. It’s a little south of Fairbanks, decorated like Christmas year round, with candy cane street lights and giant Santa Claus statues, and has bad meth addiction and violent crime rates. Absolutely not joking.

Doing Their Research: Hacking into the Astros’ evaluation system to see what they think of a player before making a decision.

Maybe Lavar thought it was the Balltic League?

I hope the agent enjoys his ten percent off these contracts. And that he does not smoke all the cigs in one day.

I’d be careful if I were Stanton. Last thing he wants is the hard hitting investigative reporters of The Player’s Tribune on his case.

Great De-Fens

I got a tip

Jabroni is #10

“Bringing in new fans” isn’t always a good thing

“As a longtime Cubs fan”... WHOOSH!

(Mobile readers, get the fuck out)

Are you Alternate Timeline Bill Simmons?

because he throws his left hook 92 miles per hour.

YEAH BUT HOW ABOUT MILLER CHAPMAN BETANCES AND THROW IN BRIAN MCCANN FOR KYLE SCHWARBER I’LL JUST HANG UP AND LISTEN

Why would the Cubs even want Chapman? There's no designated hitter in the NL...

Hey, you’ve got to be a tough bastard to manage Eagles scouts, not some kind of Eagle Scout.