No male sailor worth his salt would decline an opportunity to piss off the side of the ship and into the merry sea, I say!

Toenail.

After unsleeving, you're supposed to cut the tape, punch a small hole in the outer box, stick a soda straw inside, and blow.

Absolutely, without a doubt, nowhere NEAR as awful as that old Lamisil commercial.

My public school system had a pretty comprehensive sex ed program. A lot of class time was spent on it, and it got into to a pretty down-and-dirty level of detail. So I don't understand how an abstinence-only program could possibly be called a "curriculum." What do they spend the hours teaching you? A million and a…

What about Horror, Slobber, Reek or Biter?

“Thanks” usually works. Unless I'm pretty sure it's a sarcastic compliment, in which case I typically rely on “Cut the bullshit. We both know what this is about.” Then I wait for the response and proceed from there.

How can it claim to have both the Bible AND no porn? Have they ever read the hot parts? 8.6 on the peter meter.

Is it wrong that at the end of that "Total Recall" trailer, my first thought was, "Remember to collect all their guns and ammo"?

Yeah, "risk of death" is a pretty broad risk. In fact, I think we all face an extremely high risk of death, which has historically stood at 100 percent for our species.

Three times does this article mention the technology's ability to figure out what I had for breakfast. Personally, I'm glad DHS will be able to know the contents of travelers' morning meals. Especially those who start the day with a big plate of cocaine and gunpowder.

I thought medals were more about "You put your own life in danger in some special way to accomplish the mission. Maybe you killed a lot of enemies, maybe none at all, but the point is, you showed big cajones, so you deserve recognition," not so much about "You killed that guy, nice job." But I was never in the…

I was hoping the "Whisky Rule" would be that everyone else in the meeting takes a shot every 10 minutes until the late guy arrives. Then he has to soberly sit in on a meeting with a bunch of drunks.

Good point. Booze is not an ideal gift for everyone. Save the "Whisky Rule" for people whom you know drink sometimes but don't have a problem with it. Otherwise, spring for a box of Tic-Tacs.

Gmail seems to have amazing spam filters. Yahoo's are awful.

This sounds like it would make a movie into more of a Disneyland ride than a film, and I fear that if this picks up as a trend it will come at the expense of plot and storytelling.

Photography techniques aside, the poses aren't all great either. Phelps looks like someone made him stand outside naked in the cold. I want to give the poor guy a blanket and a bowl of hot soup.

The way it handles correspondence threads have driven me to wish very bad things upon it. Apparently the Santeria worked this time.

But there's still a wire from the dock to the wall. I'm not sure I understand the appeal of these so-called wireless charging systems. They still don't get around the fact that while the phone is charging, you can't take it anywhere outside the 6-foot-or-so radius of the wire attached to the wall. It just saves you…

The Geek Squad's prime directive is to create a massive cache of porn culled from all the computers that customers bring in for repair. The collection is stored in quintuple redundancy in a shielded underground server farm in North Dakota. Its ultimate purpose: unknown.