That fingerprint scanner's gonna look an awful lot like a Petri dish after a day or two.

I see the phrase "eliminate ... ads" on that chart. So now users are going to have to pay for MySpace? Or is it going to turn into a charity?

Solution: Outfit both partners with a set of wearable handles and stirrups. Then put them in a room with soft, bouncy walls.

What, so the audience didn't used to punctuate every single sentence Steve Jobs said at product intros with 2 solid minutes of applause?

I agree with the dangers, but what really confuses me about this is what the supposed benefits are supposed to be. So you can drink a lot more without feeling drunk? What a waste of money and time! Might as well throw the booze down the sink if you want to consume it but not be intoxicated.

This is horrible for Amazon, considering the tens of millions of people who look to SNL for gadget-buying advice.

So, THIS is why I'm so goddam ripped. Mystery solved.

As a Canon user, I'm trying really hard to get upset about this, but it's just not working. Nikon isn't saying other brands are crap — just that if you use shitty equipment, you get shitty photos.

So, last time, they got Apotheker on board just after buying up Palm for a big consumer play, even though Apotheker doesn't specialize in consumer. Now they get Whitman on board just after making a big enterprise systems play, even though Whitman doesn't specialize in enterprise systems. Maybe next they should go…

If it's expected to be a single or double exchange of info, then text away. You tell or ask me something, and maybe I tell you something back. But once a repeated back-and-forth starts developing — once it starts becoming an actual conversation — then I'm going to call, because sometimes talking really is more…

And next Fall, it will have five.

Fifteen measly bucks? No fully self-actualized app would ever sell itself for less than $500!

Is it even fair to call cellphone nudie shots like this "skeletons"? To me, that term's reserved for cheating, associations with very bad people, doing things that ended up hurting others, shit like that. Not sexytime love notes that happen to fall into the wrong hands.

I guess the logo image that comes to my mind is that of two very unattractive people, both with gas problems, having boring sex while mostly paying attention to what's on TV. I'd whip up something in Photoshop, but I'm at work.

Quite true. I guess my inner criminal is pretty small-time.

Of all the people whose identity you could steal, a cop seems like it would be a really unattractive target. I'd also recommend not stealing a cop's car or breaking into a cop's house, if you can help it.

Comment redacted — headline fix rendered it unfunny.

I guess this makes me a luddite for preferring my caffeine in pill form.

Yeah, the difference was a buck. Not a big deal, considering how infrequently I resort to iTunes for TV. But that cloud storage does nothing for me — in my home, "rerun" is a dirty word. TV rental just made perfect sense to me, so I guess I'm more bewildered about the logic behind getting rid of it, rather than the…

Buh! Buh! But I LIIIIIKE renting TV shows!