It’s time for universal health care you craven dipshit.

By the time America sobers up we will have elected a double parked BMW and a pair of Victorias Secret angel wings into the White House.

Lyle Waggoner and Mitt Romney have never been seen in the same room together.

It can’t be the third guy, he has no flag pin.

Coming soon to states near you: You Look Like A Terrorist

Oh, they’ll fight tooth and nail to keep black people from voting. I mean, these are the fuckheads that tried to strip Democratic governors of their right to oversee elections.

Why is this miss surprising? It clearly wasn’t Valentin’s day.

It’s only a matter of time

A better approach would be to burn the house down. When the investigators ask why you did it just say snakes and collect that sweet insurance cheque.

My dad loves that movie. That’s always made me a little nervous.

That’s because we are old.

Could be the opening scene of his own personal Falling Down.

Looks like somebody got a case of the Mondays.

Reminds me of this old classic from the 2010 Asian Games where the player completely missed an open net. Apparently he never played for Qatar again.

Not gonna lie, sentimentaliy led me to buy a bottle of that when I saw it recently. It now sits untouched in the back of my fridge weeks later.

But the divorce is still on, right? So, some good came of it ;)

I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point society simply stopped valuing honesty. It’s sad. Who among us hasn’t been 14 pints in and shared their honest thoughts. Would you rather hear a lie? I didn’t think so chief. Let the man be speak his mind. It’s a lesson for all of us.

Omg, guys. We are living in an episode of the Apprentice, aren’t we?

My buddy called it a Dickydo because his belly sticks out farther than his....

Professional troll Alex Jones “ran into” old friends, publicity masters Spencer and Heidi Pratt, while on vacation in Hawaii recently