Even their chubby kids can kick our chubby kids' asses.

Also, shout out to Taraji for remembering John Glenn. 2016 was such a shitty year, the world forgot to mourn the baddest motherfucker to go to space.

But this could be a major breakthrough. I mean, this could be our way of fighting back!

Jesus fucking Christ, Dr Suess couldn't come up with a creature so maddening.

"Bless you, Chachi. I hope your long battle with puberty is over by the time you hit 60."

Well, that's still internally consistent; none of those people are celebrities

"I-well uh golly! I must be tripping balls!"

Who hasn't dropped acid right before an award ceremony?

The precedent is highly un!

Mahershala Ali is the kind of man we need at the forefront of American cinema. Humble, intelligent, and smoking hot.

All of this is making me embarrassed to be an American Muslim. Wehaven't stood up for the rights of others nearly enough to be treated so beautifully.

Sucks for you.

How do we know trump hasn't been dead for years, and the thing on his head has been operating him like Krang

In eight years, we're gonna have a Gay Hispanic Muslim president. But before that, we're gonna have to find a way to reassemble the government amidst nuclear fallout.

It's taken me a while to come around to Chance, but it's hard to deny his exuberance and optimism.

I'd like to take this moment to just say

spoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

I don't think its too bold a claim to say the man was the peak of what acting as an art form could be. But even had he not been such an intelligent and thoughtful performer, his very presence alone could've made a career. That odd combination of regal dialect with his weary voice and appearance made him at once a…

I should make a movie titled Asleep in Chicago

It's been long over an hour, where's the obit?