Hey girl. I know it sucks and is horrible. All the hugs and sympathy in the world to you. But you 100% dodged a giant, horrible, spiked bullet. So ... sorry on the heartbreak, but congratulations on finding out who he really was before you actually married him.

My grandfather, a traveling salesman, inveterate gambler, and con man, fathered at least two children with another woman who he lived with as his wife while my grandmother raised their three kids mostly by herself. This was in the mid to late 50s. He would just go away for long “business trips” to another part of the…

Oh girl. I feel you. For my youngest’s second birthday, my parents got her a guitar shaped like a dog (!!) that plays a multitude of nursery rhyme type songs in sort of a country music type way. There is a also a “howl” setting, which means that the songs get howled by dogs. I fucking hate this thing with a passion.…

Yep. When I had my first kid I was the first in my friend and cousin group to have a kid, and it was the first grandkid for my parents. Despite us asking them not to, or to donate to charities, or whatever, people went nuts. NUTS. Our house was full of crazy baby crap. Way too much for one family. We were grateful for…

What about bizarre things, like when your kid asks what kind of coffin you want to be buried in when you die? I find those amusing.

You are fine. For reals. Post whatever you want, and ignore the haters. And they can ignore you too, because of the “unfollow” and “see less of this” options. I have never been a SAHM, but I’ve done maternity leave twice, and I know that shit is isolating and fucks with your mind and that facebook can be a real…

“Mommy” is irritating, but “mama” is far, far worse and also usually denotes anti-vaxx and/or attachment parenting ideology.

Well, sure. But the solution is to de-friend, unfollow, use the “see less” option, or whatever. For instance, I have a friend on fb who is obsessed with Glee. She posts about it all the time. She writes fanfic (yep, it exists). She’s the ultimate fangirl. I like this person. I could not possibly care less about Glee.…

She does appear to be announcing “big plans” on the reg. Here’s hoping she goes to college and becomes the vaginal rejuvenation queen, or whatever.

Yeah. Agreed. I mean, Farrah Abraham appears to be an idiot, but she is 23, and most people are idiots at 23. I certainly was. Not a teen mom porn star type idiot to be sure, but certainly a garden variety type idiot. Now I flatter myself that I am somewhat less of an idiot, in that I have a big important lawyer job…

I’m sure this will stay in the grays forever, but here goes:

I just want to say congratulations on being pretty healthy and doing well. Seriously, CF is such a fucking miserable disease that it's lovely to hear someone living their life and being happy.

starred for the Nobby Nobbs reference.

Also, when you resort to tone policing, you've lost the argument. Congratulations!

Oh shut up. No one is whining. I was expressing an opinion about what I see as a bullshit and possibly predatory practice.

I can opine on bullshit science without infringing on anyone else's rights.

Bless you for this and for being the kind of doula you are. Too many of the folks in your profession put ideology over the patients' needs. You clearly don't. That's awesome. That's what women need.

Good on your friend for coming out of the haze and getting her kid vaxxed. I have seen people fall down the mommy hole. Almost did it myself. Was snapped out of it when my friend lost her full term baby at a botched homebirth attended by woo woo crazies. Now I'm all over the science.

Yeesh. If you're too grossed out to MAKE your own placenta smoothie, you should be too grossed out to eat it.

Let's be clear. Doulas do not kill babies. Doulas rub backs, feed grapes, sing, hum, whatever. Having one when I was having my babies was not my personal choice, but if that's your thing — sure, go for it.