don't panic.don'tpanicdon'tpanic.

I thought you had fancy crabby people bring booze to your house so you didn't even have to bother buying them something cheap?

I went to a women's college, so each dorm floor only had one bathroom, and we'd vote every year about whether to designate one "women-only". This never happened, so while I've never shared a *shower*, I have shared a bathroom with every boy who ever came to visit. The showers had both doors and curtains, but the…

Ladies who can't afford birth control: I've been un/underemployed in both New York and Texas now, and in both I've been able to get on a Medicaid Women's Health program, which pays for a yearly exam and the entire cost of my generic pill. I don't know what the situation is for other forms of birth control, but it's…

I'm pretty peeved by the notion that underneath all my adult competency is a petty, seething 15-year-old mean girl, and pretty skeptical of the idea that grown women are painfully jealous of celebrities. The last time a starlet's looks made me feel terrible about my own I was a teenager; since then I've grown up,…

omg, I *wish* mrteenwordpower was a hunter-shopper. the man will research absolutely any purchase over $50 for days. if he goes to the grocery store for milk and toilet paper? he'll come back an hour later with six bags, one filled with four pints of ice cream (okay, I'm only kind of complaining about that last part).…

"I don't need science when I have my *convictions*. that's why I always vote abstinence-only."

@itsonreserve: watching football all day *totally* makes you mrteenwordpower's perfect lady. i think the fact that i'm ever, under any circumstance, inclined to clean the kitchen makes his heart sad.

okay, i was all set to be annoyed, but then that was funny and cute. i know we're all getting crabby about rituals we don't take seriously anymore, but being a godless heathen who gets skittish at the slightest hint of emotional intensity myself, the *celebratory* aspect of weddings has always been my favorite part.…

@JerseyGrrrl: i've always thought the "purity-defilement" angle was pretty interesting. because, if your catholic schoolgirl's on board, she's already pretty well defiled, right? all on her lonesome, out of her own sinning brain? so if someone else wants to actually *do* the defiling, the act, by definition, can't be…

@Tartan_Tart (formerly Scarletbegonia): yes, but hot *non-blond* women! weird, right?

could someone *please* explain "dating + cheating"? if you're so unhappy with your (presumably) monogamous relationship, DON'T date. or, use your words like a big boy and negotiate an open relationship. there, problem solved—now with fewer lies!

@Dauphine: right? I always flinch when people are merging into my lane. my boyfriend hates this, but I can't help the fear response, so I've modified it: every time I feel the need to cringe away from other drivers, I shout "smash!"

I didn't get my license 'til I was 20 (my parents only had one car through much of my teenagerhood, so there was nothing for me to practice on most of the time, and all of my friends were given cars when they got their licenses. and, I'm uncomfortable in anything faster than a bike. so yeah.), and after college lived…

@banana_grabber: And honestly, is a woman's "eroticism" really of paramount importance always? I would think (I don't know, having never had a child) that I personally would want the father in the room with me so he could be part of the *work* part of baby-making, as well as the fun part. Seeing the mother of your…

@Private Hangnail: That book terrified me to the core of my tiny second-grade soul. I tried it read it for the first time when I was 8, and only got as far as the first chapter, when they describe the various things the witches had done to little children. The one about the kid slowly turning to stone somehow…

When I was in elementary school, my dad (a single parent until I was 10 who never stopped being the primary caregiver) volunteered in my classes, which I loved. Until the 4th grade, when years of filling out "Classroom Mom" volunteer forms finally drove him 'round the bend. Which sucks, because the little boys could…

"By sleeping with a chubby gal who thinks that her double D breasts are, in any way, attractive is just fooling herself."

Um, that's not food racism. That's just regular old racist racism. Thanks again, Media! #foodracism

@Friday: Ugh. The last time I trick-or-treated, I was in the ninth grade, in full costume, and the idea that I was too old hadn't even occurred to me. The worst wasn't the people who announced I was too old, it was the ones who asked, with something between pity and scorn, "don't you think you're a little too old for…