The best part about this is how he ends up late himself that afternoon. I don’t feel schadenfreude too often, but it’s nice here.

Egging property will get your shot dead in this country. Raping minors gets side eye for inappropriate behavior.

Maybe rapper names can be the new porn star names. Take your first dog and the street you grew up on, but replace all vowels with Ys and drop any unnecessary consonants.

Too cuddly sounding. How about Zoe Wolfklaw?

I have not stopped laughing over this Rob/Blac Chyna thing and I NEVER WILL.

I spend so much there you should see how many VIB points I have racked up that I have yet to use.

This quiet protest is proof that when it comes down to it people can’t win when they protest. If they quietly stand with a sign in front of a news conference they will be told to be more polite, if they close down intersections or refuse to obey they will be labelled thugs but if they play by the rules set by police…

HOT TAKE

I’d prefer a bloodied sheet hanging out the window, thanks.

Mariah Carey is Miss Piggy in human form.

THIRSTY AS HELL.

I’m with you. I truly believe that Thompson’s scene in the bedroom is among the great pieces of acting ever put on film. Total heartbreak, immediate and devastating, survived.

NOBODY BUY MASON JARS. YOU’RE DRIVING UP THE PRICE AND I NEED THEM FOR CANNING PURPOSES.

The toaster one reminds me of the time one of the librarians smelled food and tracked it down to a woman who was sitting at a reading desk with a crock pot plugged in underneath it, cooking chicken stew.

Is he making a worthwhile comment? Probably so. Is this the time or place? I don’t think so. Could I be wrong? Certainly. There is no prescription for understanding and processing tragedy. But my gut feeling says trolling at this point, no matter how illuminating, denigrates the horror of those who were slaughtered. I…

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

This sort of thing is also why pediatricians often wear bowties, significantly harder to grab onto.

Ok if you’re literally latched on to someone’s clothing and trying to pull them through a window, you get EVERYTHING you deserve.

Not to brag or anything, but my dog already has her own REAL fur jacket.