My four year old son is going to freak the fuck out. He loves him some Taylor Swift.

I just want sweatpants and an XL mens Hanes t-shirt.

Something tells me we’ll be seeing him in the NYTimes Wedding section in about 5 years.

Happy because she’s in first class.

So, basically, Miles Teller is his character from Divergent. What a dick.

I think cherry-picking quotes to make anyone considering or who underwent plastic surgery and posted there is not “bringing attention to an interesting part of the internet”. It’s highlighting a site so (the royal) you can go troll it.

People who get plastic surgery spend a lot of time and energy researching procedures and surgeons, based on this site. Unlike what we see on E, plastic surgery is not necessarily for the vain or mentally ill. Imagine having something that can be fixed with surgery that makes your life harder or more stressful. Now…

Magic Mike XXL was the most fun, entertaining two hours I’ve spent in the movie theater in a long, long time. I laughed. I whooped. I covered my eyes. I peeked through my fingers. (Not a paid spokesperson)

And this is what happens when Renesmee Cullen grows up...

This is a seriously mentally ill human being. To perpetuate a lie of this magnitude and then go on national television and double down on your delusions is not mentally healthy.

It would have been a lot cooler if she had done a mock-Sassy cover...

Acknowledged mentally ill person. Wedding drama is not funny.

You look like your aunt, Paris. I think you know that to which I’m referring.

Ezzy-Ezzy-Ezzy = hero

She must be one of those people who relies upon “anecdata” as if that’s a thing.

zzzzz I’m more interesting because I smoked zzzzz You’re not more interesting. What self-destructive thing will you do now in response? Stop fucking romanticizing it. It didn’t make you special or more interesting then and it certainly doesn’t now.

I really liked the Laneige Water Sleeping Mask too. It sank right in and made my skin soft the next morning. A nice surprise that I wouldn’t have ever considered buying in the past.

You’re wonderful. He is terrible and I’m really glad I know both of these things.

According to the Brooklyn Community Services (BCS) volunteer application, “If you volunteer for a position with children, BCS must notify the New York State Central Registry of Child Abuse and Maltreatment (SCR). Fingerprinting and proof of a TB test within the past 12 months may also be required for some positions…

I honestly don’t understand how she is allowed to work with children. Do they allow other volunteers in their building who are doing court-ordered community service? I’m honestly asking because I can’t imagine as a parent that this would be okay with me, leaving Lindsay Lohan completely out of the equation.