i paid hundreds of dollars for this stuff that gave me some small amount of pleasure. now i’m burning it. a loved one will pay to replace it for me at christmas when my team is doing well. take that, nfl! i sure showed you! (also, i watch the games, anyway.)

“Welcome to the Department of Justice!”

Sessions has to stay. If he left, and tried to go back to his old seat, he would have to fight incumbent Senator Luther Strange, who at 6 feet 9 inches, is the tallest member of the Senate.

Reminder that it’s possible to believe both that O.J. Simpson killed two people in 1994 and that the Nevada parole board did its job correctly today

When girls or guys are too thirsty, it stops being sexy and starts looking sad. That is all.

Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

One source suggested to me that Richard Burt, former U.S. ambassador to Germany, START treaty negotiator, and longtime lobbyist for Alfa Bank, was the nexus. It was Burt who helped draft Trump’s foreign policy speech in April, and had been advising the Trump campaign, via Senator Jeff Sessions, on foreign policy. But…

The best part of capitalism is when shitheads accidentally waste their money in the funniest of ways.

Do you understand the kind of brainwashing that woman has been subject to for her entire life? People in Quiverfull circles actually think that divorce is worse than murder. She’s under incredible pressure from both sides of the family to “forgive” him. And since she’s probably been homeschooled her entire life until…

K so none of my male friends have children yet but we rented a cottage last summer that had a wood stove. I was being Cottage Mom and unpacking groceries while 6 grown men tried and failed to split this one piece of timber for like 10 straight mins. (They chose one with a knot in it...inexperience showing.) At this…

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

please stick to the music and the styles that you’re used to, voice judges.

Sounds like “drug-seeking behavior” to me. How do I know you’re going to use this sodium thiopental to be executed and not just to go out and get blasted? 

Trump seems to think that insulting foreign leaders is a great idea yet demands everyone else treats him with respect.

I’m just happy it’s not being hosted on Geocities.

You know what the most ‘Merican thing in the world is? A fertile octogenarian. Also, happy belated birthday, Betty White!

Ooh, ooh, ooh…can this comment thread please turn into a fight about the rule against perpetuities?