Yeah, no one's ever going to buy their music again.

I'm not so sure. 4chan has been doing stuff like this for years, although, to be fair, it is still pretty damn funny.

Tay's got (artificial intelligence) back..

Uh, d-do you have any pictures of erm your stride mother?

"YOU! I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!"

Hm, isn't this more of a "Great Job, Internet!" than a Newswire?

Jermon Pegiron

Why so?

Really, Internet? Really?

Jonah Hill? Now there's a leading man who can share the burden of carrying a series, you bet.

Funny, because I moved from Kiss to experimental noise too!

1976 was a great year to be on the cusp of puberty and a Kiss fan who wanted to be a "weirdo in the kitty cat makeup" and probably also a "coked-up, deranged sex fiend," if had known what those were at that age. These days of course I wouldn't admit to any of that. I think these four solo albums came about about…

I don't know much about Joe the person, just a few things he's done - well ok, just this and True Blood - but I find him a bit adorable that he was so on board with the whole project this way.

So what this article is saying is that Ted Cruz is probably a pop culture-spouting person no one likes. Like us right? Isn't that what you're trying to tell us?

That should be in quotation marks, maybe even italicized: "reasonable."

I'm sure that's not all that's up.

That's 100% true. I can say that having been through that, it's depressing to realize you're the only one in the relationship working to keep it afloat.

Yeah, it does appear this is too far gone (or never happened in the first place), but vague enough as well. Maybe Dan edited it a bit for room and left off some more confirming detail.

"Lightsaber duel", is that code for "something"?

Then be sure and congratulate yourself for doing them as well, "looka me! I got three things done today, yay me!" This part's actually pretty important to start retraining your inner dialogue that's calling you a failure, that one you need to start telling to STFU already.