How did he know I was 5?

I am 20 and have a 3 month old and would never ever even think of doing this. I've had moments where she is crying and crying and won't stop and I get frustrated. That's when you put them down and walk away and cool down. So many people don't realize that or they are in such a different mindset that they can't. I'm…

It's really because you can't win as a parent. If you don't post pics of the baby, people think "Oh, where's her baby? What a terrible mother." Especially for young mothers like myself. I seriously feel guilty posting anything on instagram at this point. If it's my DD, I'm one of "those people." If it's a selfie or me…

This.

They are actually awesome for nose picking. Just have to be careful.

I met my boyfriend and father of my child in rehab. They say those relationships aren't really supposed to last but our did! Yay!!

Wait what happened with Cosby? :(

This! Sometimes when I finally find a porno that is something I am really into (I'm into some non mainstream stuff) the guys are usually totally yucky. Maybe they're cool people, but I'm not trying to get the know them. Imagine if all the male porn stars were totally hot and all the female porn stars were just eh. Oh…

"If I had to die" Are you immortal?

Yeah, shy poopers unite! (but not while pooping, obvs)

Repair-zoning.

Ha!

I always want to shove back into those kids and knock them over, but I realize that they probably wouldn't even notice.

Welcome to reality, dude.

If he didn't have the voice he does, he would probably not be seen as quite as funny.

SERIOUSLY, GO AWAY.