If it’s any consolation, I do believe plenty of planned for pregnancies also turn into disaffected teens who shop at Hot Topic.

I mean, he once read The Joy of Sex when he was bored. He also saw a comedian make a joke about eating out women and told himself he was going to think about trying out the alphabet method the next time he had the chance. That was three years ago, but he thinks about it every now and then, so really, he’s going to be…

Well, I mean...my pregnancy was unwanted, and that baby is now a disaffected teen who does indeed shop at Hot Topic. But other than that, this godawful personal reflection of a white single dude’s sexual failings was a waste of my fucking time. Which, funnily enough, is exactly what I’d imagine sex with him is like.

Fitting for the times.

“But it’s got dragons and magic shit it’s not political at all damm libtard snowflakes! #maga” /s

George Lopez was never funny and always a dick.

Third rule in Latino families: leave your wife after she donates her organs to you.

Well, you know what that means. Melissa McCarthy has to play Spicer every. goddamn. time. from here on out. Yes, forget that she potrayed Spicer as a total psychopath, how dare the portrayal is by a woman. Heaven forbid such an offense!

That’s our boy, Trumpelthinskin. Always concerned about the important stuff. Sean Spicer being satirized by a human?!?!

So..... SNL is going to have all the Trump people played by someone of the opposite sex now, right? I’d pay to see Leslie Jones as Ben Carson. Or Aidy Bryant as Steve Bannon.

Right? I don’t understand. Also, doesn’t he make Trump brand tie clips? I mean, pretty sure he does - my husband’s cousin gave him some Trump cuff links for Christmas for a gag, so I’d assume he also offers tie clips. Wouldn’t he even wear his own shit? I mean, obviously it’s probably not classy enough for him, but…

lol, right? also, this is exactly what I thought about when reading how he “expects” his staffers to dress. Like, bitch, you have no business opining on the width or pattern of anyone’s ties if you are mother fucking scotch taping yours.You also clearly have no business selling your branded fire-hazards, either.

How great would that deposition be?

This alone is grounds for impeachment, right?

The failing @nytimes writes total fiction concerning me. They have gotten it wrong for two years, and now are making up stories & sources!

Sean Spicer is going to have an aneurism any day now, right? He always seems like a man on the brink of major collapse.

When I heard myself nodding to Mitch McConnell’s response — just an excerpt that was broadcast on NPR — and thinking “yes; that makes sense,” I realised how far we have fallen. Mitch McConnell as a voice of reason in the face of lunacy.

Ugh that horrific! I had a friend who’s father hit a downed tree snowmobiling and is paralyzed from the waist down. It can be so dangerous.

When I saw the spider monster thing, I was all, “ohhh, that’s Slenderman.”