I love when people say “I’m so blessed!” when they clearly really mean “I’m so rich!”

It’s a really sharp turn between “I’m not judging” and “no one [in my family/circle] would have chosen a larger buffet or open bar over family,” and the idea that no-kids weddings seem “hostile to family.” That kind of sanctimonious judgment (yup, you ARE judging!) is exactly what made wedding planning so unbelievably…

What city are you in?

I just saw your posts above about being suicidal. Please please please call the hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255, or call someone else you trust who can get you to help. I can’t imagine the pain you’re in but I know that there are a lot of people who would like nothing more than to offer you some help. It might feel too late…

The most expensive, prestigious restaurants often pay their line cooks absolute shit (minimum wage and often less than that - making them work unpaid overtime or clock in under multiple names - because they should be grateful for that line on their resume) and treat their servers like garbage up to and including…

Seriously, it is that simple and that’s the way it always was. The “confusion” of people who don’t like what their invitation says is disingenuous.

That is the most atrocious behavior that I’ve ever heard. Bless you for volunteering to make those calls, your poor sister was saved at least some grief for it.

It’s... really not odd. Some people have limited budgets, or small venues, and/or just want to include as many of their adult friends and relations who will understand what is going on and be invested in the meaning of the event, over children who may be too young to remember or understand or value the experience and…

Exactly. I have no idea how an invitation could be “unclear.” It might not say what someone wants it to, but it says what it means. Decide whether you will attend accordingly, like anyone else. Sheesh.

I can’t even tell if she wants to pay for a new wedding. It looks like they want to pay off vendors for the one they cancelled, and go on a fancy vacation. If they are trying to go on a vacation that they hadn’t planned on spending the money for in the first place then they are actually trying to get something out of…

Hell, even just having the wedding as planned would have been better than this. Or postponing it by a month or two.

I would also encourage people to make their lives easier by assuming good intentions. Sometimes someone just shows up with a kid, and what can the bride/groom do? Maybe someone’s sitter got in an accident or sick last minute. Who knows what happened, except that if the bride and groom intended to insult you they…

I guess it depends on your relationship to the couple, but I had every single person with kids do this to me and zero wiggle room in my budget/venue. It made me feel awful every time and I’d even offered childcare near the venue, but people had refused that.

If it doesn’t explicitly include your kids on the invite, they’re not invited. Clear.

Stay strong. I also had a small venue/list and faced some ruffled feathers, but you’re not doing a thing wrong and some people just want to be offended.

Kids aren’t like, appendages. They’re individual people. People can invite the individuals they know and are close to, and not others they’ve never met or barely know. It’s silly to expect people to invite every kid just by virtue of their age. It’s silly to expect people planning a wedding to plan around one’s…

I feel like as long as there’s a principled rule, IE “children of siblings to the bride and groom are invited, but no other children” then people have no reason to get their feathers ruffled. It doesn’t make sense to me to mandate that if your niece is there your mom’s coworker’s six children need to be there as well.

It could be that the invited children are just closer relatives than children of cousins.

Asking is for real so rude, once you’ve received an invite that clearly doesn’t include the kids.

Noooo please no. People have budgets for these things and venues with limited space and reasons for who they do/don’t invite. If you are put out you don’t have to attend, period. No need to have a grudge or harangue for additional spaces. Even if the bride and groom relent you are adding extra stress and expense that…