Your position seems to be that anything an oppressor appropriates and manipulates becomes theirs alone, and the oppressed need to surrender that thing rather than try to reclaim it and preserve its integrity. That’s just wrong.

LOL SOMEBODY LET THIS LADY IN ON THE SUPREMACY CLAUSE.

Yes! I would say at most T. Swift could be accused of being somewhat inconsistent, but really the situations (apple music services and concert photogs) are not analogous, and the distinctions are meaningful.

Are religious communities are more prone to this kind of purely speculative but damaging gossip than other groups/communities? Because it seems like based on what I know of Christian values, that kind of thing should be behavior that people would avoid...

Did you read my original comment before you replied? Or were you trying to reply to someone else initially? I was explicitly talking about lay people in a church in my town and their influence on the culture of secular workplaces, an influence that is detrimental to women’s professional lives. My implicit point being…

There’s a big difference between gossip and actual, admitted infidelity (and being the subject of gossip is not a sin anyway, last I went to church). Is the goal is to prevent gossip, or to prevent temptation/sin/impropriety? Either way the effort is overkill, and may even cross into some other kind of sin/impropriety…

My town has a “progressive” branded evangelical church that uses this rule (I’ve never seen it called the billy graham rule before) and it played out in a way that definitely disadvantages women professionally, inside or outside the church. I’ve heard from women who couldn’t get into a ride share to work, get invited…

LOL I’ve gotten this too. And then when dumped for a petite blonde lady (who was in fact a lovely woman) I actually got: “I wish I could put your brain in her body. That would be my perfect woman.”

I LOVE WHEN LOAFING BOOMERS SLANDER MY GENERATION FOR LAZINESS WHILE I AM LITERALLY SERVICING THEIR EVERY NEED!

Holy shit. That is so fucked up.

I’m from a southern state, and I’ve never heard of this. Horrifying.

I am from the south as well. I love my hometown, and my home state. I am ashamed of the south’s history of racism/present racism and I know that the confederate flag is a symbol of it. Anyone who claims otherwise is lying, straight up.

I’m from the south, the confederate flag is a racist symbol to me and to everyone I associate with there. People who claim that it isn’t are being disingenuous, and they don’t represent the thoughts of all southerners on the subject.

Thank you so much for this generous advice!

Genuine confusion over this: People have suggested the teaching English thing to me often, but I would feel really presumptuous going to a country where I don’t know the language, without a teaching certification or experience, and presuming that I can teach English effectively. But most people I know who have gone…

I can see your point, for sure. I interpret what he’s said as saying he never would have endorsed that viewpoint if he were confronted with its meaning, he was just behaving thoughtlessly. Maybe I’m giving too much credit, but that’s one of the ways I preserve my fragile sanity in this crazy world. :)

I feel like there are more charitable ways to read this, if you’re inclined to read it charitably. Understandable if you’re not, but for me it’s sometimes just nicer to give the benefit of the doubt and hope it’s warranted in cases like this.

Good point - and exactly why the current practice for rape prevention on high school and college campuses is bystander intervention. I hadn’t made that connection until your comment.

I can see that, but I also believe him that if he’d had better guidance at the time he wouldn’t have said those things. Maybe because I can remember saying stupid, offensive things when I was younger and being thoughtless, but was smart enough that I should have known better and would have changed my tune if I’d had…

I don’t think you’re insane at all. While a PR team could have come up with something more “spot on” I appreciate hearing it out of his own mouth. I think he seems sincere.